“When I have enough confidence, I’ll ________________________.” You fill in the blank. Part of coaching is finding out what’s in the blank. If you had the confidence, what would you do? What call would you make? Whose door would you knock on?
Answering these questions frees up my clients to dream big because they usually stop themselves before they even get off the starting block. What they don’t suspect (hee hee) is that they’re going to get a little push from a loving and believing mentor.
What I know about confidence is that it ebbs and flows based on how much flexing and nourishment it gets. Every time you take an action that requires confidence, the muscle grows. Afraid to pick up the phone to call for a referral? Would you rather watch the election replays than go to that networking event you signed up for? Do it anyway and notice your confidence level. Regardless of the outcome on the other end, what you’ll want to notice and acknowledge yourself for is that you “acted as if” which is a key ingredient to success.
Self-esteem and self-confidence are increased with each esteemable action you take. “Do it scared!” reads a sign in front of my friend’s computer which reminds that confidence is a day at a time undertaking.
My daughter, recently returned home after living in Japan for four years, was inspired by reading the line, “Do one things a day that scares you.” That’s where this whole issue of confidence came up. So, I actually wrote this entry for her.


3 comments
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November 6, 2008 at 7:54 am
Sandy
Hi Jane. Something that I would say if I had the confidence to do it is, would you hire me to assist you on your retreat to Canyon Ranch. I have a lot to offer as a coach and hard worker, and I love learning and being inspired when I am around you. What do you say? I am up for a dialogue about this. I want to be around your brilliance!
November 6, 2008 at 7:59 am
janepollak
@Sandy
You bet I would! However, it’s not in the budget for Canyon Ranch. May I hold onto your proposal for a local event?
November 19, 2008 at 9:45 am
elaine
shortly after meeting jane for the first time, i was walking by a street vendor in lower manhattan and the following image caught my eye…capital A, a circle around a woman’s dressing robe, and under it written in large script-Fear of Failure, and under this in teeny block print-renders you immobile…this hangs near my desk for me to see daily. it is the most powerful 5 x 7 image for me.