I accidentally attended five different networking events last week. I say accidentally because they weren’t all labeled as such. Monday night was a birthday dinner for a friend and client. I met eight women I hadn’t known before. Friday night’s event was for the purpose of networking yet began with an hour of yoga which made it feel warmer and friendlier than just shaking hands. I put out my books, met many other women business owners and shared good food. Sunday afternoon I attended the opening of an art exhibit curated by another good friend and client. I bumped into several colleagues whom I hadn’t seen in months, years and even a decade.
The other two were purely networking events located at commercial venues. They didn’t work as well for me personally. After all these years in business, I’m still discovering what works and what doesn’t. The best place for me to check in with that is my heart. How do I feel? What’s the vibe? Are these my people? Is the atmosphere conducive to the conversations I want to have?
My commitment to myself and my business is to attend three networking events per month. I intentionally check my calendar to see if I’m accomplishing that. Then there’s the unintentional networking which happened at the birthday dinner and art gallery. Any time you show up in public, you’re networking. In fact, my thesis is that whenever you’re not home alone, you’re networking.
Bottom line–be who you are wherever you go and bring business cards.
8 comments
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March 23, 2009 at 11:59 pm
Lena West
This is so true, Jane!
I recently received a galley copy of Keith Ferrazzi’s new book, Who’s Got Your Back? (due out in May) and in it, he talks about developing “lifeline relationships”. Fabulous concept!
I’m sorry, but I’ve RARELY developed a deep relationship with someone at an event that was billed solely as a networking event. I find that I really connect with people when it’s natural to do so – at a personal shindig like a party, at art gallery openings and when I travel – which is why I hardly ever attend conferences unless I’m speaking.
If it’s one thing I learned from reading Soul Proprietor is that you have to be you. In your bones, down deep you. And, I don’t get any heft from attending smarmy networking events. So, I don’t. I’d rather be in asana.
-Lena
March 24, 2009 at 7:54 am
janepollak
@Lena
Thank you for validating this post with your own experiences. I keep forgetting what I know to be true. I’m such an optimist that I’m always thinking, “maybe this time!” I appreciate the reminder to trust my gut.
March 31, 2009 at 11:23 am
cpetersiel1
Jane, thank you for this post. I have to force myself to attend “networking events.” It’s a great reminder to understand that I will make connections when I am being fully myself and when going to events that are fun and that I am naturally attracted to.
It also reminds me to make the most of those impromptu connections. Not in a cheesy, pushy way, but in a way that deepens the relationship.
Thanks again!
Cindy
March 31, 2009 at 2:17 pm
janepollak
@Cindy
You are NOT alone! Thanks for ‘fessing up to this, as so many of us share than sentiment. It ALL counts which is exciting and daunting.
April 3, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Debby Peters
While I agree in concept with what you wrote, Jane, I do want to challenge people to step outside their comfort zone. If I didn’t, even though I am know as an expert networker, I would not go to the events like the chamber after hours or other types of “milling” around networking occasions. Those are not very comfortable for me, because I am better one to one with people. However, I know that if I totally ignore those opportunities, that I may not be meeting the business people I need to meet. One thing I do to help make me more comfortable is to focus on helping others to connect. Because in my mind I have a job, I get beyond my own awkward feelings.
April 4, 2009 at 7:13 am
janepollak
@Debby
You’re so right! I agree we need to challenge ourselves and then become discerning about where to spend that energy. Thanks for the tweak.
April 4, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Terry Scarborough
To add to Debby’s idea: her great comment about focusing on helping others to connect. When attending networking (or social) events, I make a point of introducing other people to each other–then I’m automatically included in the networking but I may have helped someone else make a contact as well. If you volunteer for an organization you’ll have an easy opening line: I am on the nominating committee for the Chamber Board, so I can ask “how would you like to get involved?”
Love your blog, Jane–and all the inspiration from you and others!
Terry
April 5, 2009 at 10:37 am
janepollak
@Terry
I love where you’re pointing here because it underlies how to effectively network. I LOVE making connections, just like you’re talking about. One of my favorite things to hear is that my name came up in someone else’s conversation. When you’re helping other people find each other you increase the odds that positive things will be said about you. Thanks for this addition.