Comments on: What’s Networking and What’s Not?

By: janepollak

janepollak — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 14:37:00 +0000

@Terry
I love where you’re pointing here because it underlies how to effectively network. I LOVE making connections, just like you’re talking about. One of my favorite things to hear is that my name came up in someone else’s conversation. When you’re helping other people find each other you increase the odds that positive things will be said about you. Thanks for this addition.

By: Terry Scarborough

Terry Scarborough — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 00:04:34 +0000

To add to Debby’s idea: her great comment about focusing on helping others to connect. When attending networking (or social) events, I make a point of introducing other people to each other–then I’m automatically included in the networking but I may have helped someone else make a contact as well. If you volunteer for an organization you’ll have an easy opening line: I am on the nominating committee for the Chamber Board, so I can ask “how would you like to get involved?”

Love your blog, Jane–and all the inspiration from you and others!

Terry

By: janepollak

janepollak — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 11:13:37 +0000

@Debby
You’re so right! I agree we need to challenge ourselves and then become discerning about where to spend that energy. Thanks for the tweak.

By: Debby Peters

Debby Peters — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 20:29:42 +0000

While I agree in concept with what you wrote, Jane, I do want to challenge people to step outside their comfort zone. If I didn’t, even though I am know as an expert networker, I would not go to the events like the chamber after hours or other types of “milling” around networking occasions. Those are not very comfortable for me, because I am better one to one with people. However, I know that if I totally ignore those opportunities, that I may not be meeting the business people I need to meet. One thing I do to help make me more comfortable is to focus on helping others to connect. Because in my mind I have a job, I get beyond my own awkward feelings.

By: janepollak

janepollak — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 18:17:01 +0000

@Cindy
You are NOT alone! Thanks for ‘fessing up to this, as so many of us share than sentiment. It ALL counts which is exciting and daunting.

By: cpetersiel1

cpetersiel1 — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:23:29 +0000

Jane, thank you for this post. I have to force myself to attend “networking events.” It’s a great reminder to understand that I will make connections when I am being fully myself and when going to events that are fun and that I am naturally attracted to.

It also reminds me to make the most of those impromptu connections. Not in a cheesy, pushy way, but in a way that deepens the relationship.

Thanks again!
Cindy

By: janepollak

janepollak — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:54:02 +0000

@Lena
Thank you for validating this post with your own experiences. I keep forgetting what I know to be true. I’m such an optimist that I’m always thinking, “maybe this time!” I appreciate the reminder to trust my gut.

By: Lena West

Lena West — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 03:59:18 +0000

This is so true, Jane!

I recently received a galley copy of Keith Ferrazzi’s new book, Who’s Got Your Back? (due out in May) and in it, he talks about developing “lifeline relationships”. Fabulous concept!

I’m sorry, but I’ve RARELY developed a deep relationship with someone at an event that was billed solely as a networking event. I find that I really connect with people when it’s natural to do so – at a personal shindig like a party, at art gallery openings and when I travel – which is why I hardly ever attend conferences unless I’m speaking.

If it’s one thing I learned from reading Soul Proprietor is that you have to be you. In your bones, down deep you. And, I don’t get any heft from attending smarmy networking events. So, I don’t. I’d rather be in asana.

-Lena