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My fabulous Monday Transformation through Transition group met this week. I gave two participants, who are considering going into business together, the assignment to form a Partnership Alliance.

This is a tool I learned from my organization/relationship coaching course. It’s a powerful agreement between partners that encourages discussion about how they want to operate as a relationship–something business owners rarely talk about. It’s usually all about the business, yet the partnership’s health and well-being is vital to the business’ success.

I recommended several of my class colleagues to these two women. They’re all terrific choices, so I was curious who they would decide on.

“We chose the one who had a website.”

Goes to show you that marketing + competence trumps all.

Shortly after posting my May 1 entry about verbalizing what I need in relationships,  I was heading into NYC for the day. Having heard the weather prediction, I packed the cute little fold-up umbrella my daughter-in-law’s family gave me for Christmas. It was the first time I was carrying it and noticed a large tag tucked into one of the ribs. It was the company’s warranty.

Since I had a small pocket of time while waiting for the train, I read it.

Shedrain has been creating fine umbrellas since 1947. Our quality materials and expert craftsmanship stand the test of time. All it takes is a little care and common sense.

Always treat a Shedrain umbrella with respect and it will provide excellent protection for years to come.

I’m thinking about handing out warranties to everyone I meet from now on. Treat me with a little care, common sense and respect and I’ll provide excellence for years to come.

Imagine finding reinforcement for my message from the Shedrain Umbrella company!

Malene Barnett raved about the PR person who recently helped her define the right market niche and figure out which media to pursue. Malene was so excited and motivated that I wanted to discover more about this wondrous resource. She provided me with an email address, and I promptly wrote to Susan Harkavy who responded, “Yes, let’s meet.”

I love it when I reach out to someone, the mutuality of interests is clear and the response is positive and inviting. That is not always the case, so it’s sweet when it happens. Susan and I made a date to get together when I was next in Manhattan. That was last Friday.

It was instant rapport. Susan’s niche market is designers, something we share, although my coaching is not exclusive to that industry. Our businesses both grew up during the crafts renaissance of the late 70′s and 80′s. Susan had a Denyse Schmidt quilt adorning one wall of her office. Denyse has been a friend, colleague and client of mine for many years.

Susan promotes herself through her Guerilla Dispatches which are chock full of practical advice like these bullets from her Take Action edition:

  • Choose parties on purpose.
  • When you go, have a mission.
  • The best way to start a conversation is with a big smile and direct eye contact.
  • An almost surefire trick for sparking a conversation is to wear or carry something intriguing.

What we both left with at the end of our meeting was a sense of inspiration, a list of follow-up connections to make and a commitment to stay in touch.

Each of us has lessons to learn at any given time in our lives. The Universe delivers opportunities often cloaked as annoyances or challenges calling us to take the next step in our development. It’s very easy for me to see and coach others’ growth edges. It’s not as easy for me to observe or negotiate my own.

First an easy (non-coaching) scenario: I attend a fellowship meeting in a building where several groups convene at the same time. There’s a particularly noisy crowd across the hall from my session. A colleague in my room was disturbed by its volume and said, “Would one of you go over there and ask them to close the door?” I responded that I wasn’t bothered by it, but if she was, she could deal with it. It was a clear-cut illustration of who owned the problem. It was hers to respond to.

What’s been repeatedly coming up for me these days (well, always really…)  is other people’s lateness. It’s a  boundary issue–clients calling 5-10 minutes late, canceling within the 24-hour time frame I request, and the no-show’s or excuse makers in groups that are dependent on all members’ compliance. When I have to deal with this ‘misbehavior’ I tense up.

I discussed this with my coach because I don’t like the feeling of being rigid or inflexible. It feels hard. I physically tighten up and I don’t like the sensation. Complicating this is an expression I’d love to live by: wear life like a loose garment. I’m trying to reconcile that approach with this uncomfortable internal intensity.

Michele reframed it for me. My stand for impeccability in the form of punctuality is a strength. It doesn’t work for me to have the container of my relationships, group or team compromised by others behavior.

What’s actually hard is my not owning the truth of it. It doesn’t work for me. Simple as that. Yet, I find it difficult to say those words. That’s my growing edge. To simply and clearly take a stand for what has meaning for me.

I know this. I teach this, and I forget it.

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