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Cookie - Then
The most important thing on my calendar today is meeting my oldest (I’ve known her the longest, that is) friend Cookie for lunch. That supersedes my meeting with my accountant and two phone appointments which will bookend our time together.
We live about an hour apart, so our quarterly lunch dates are cherished oases on my calendar. I’ll use the excuse of meeting Cookie in the charming town of New Canaan to incorporate last minute holiday shopping for a grab bag gift as well as hostess presents.
Cookie (Marisabina, professionally) was on my mind because of our date today, but also because I received an email from her this morning letting me know she’d had her first blog ever today. I hungrily read through it and believe you’ll enjoy reading her success story as well. She’s the quintessential lifestyle entrepreneur–an award-winning author and illustrator of children’s books for over 25 years while raising her three children.
Below is Cookie at her 60th birthday party (5/1/10) flanked by me and several other Artsy Girls who all look as young and vibrant as Cookie.
There’s a restaurant in my hometown that has a regular menu and a “Specials” menu. Neither has varied one iota since I can remember going there. I always laugh when Lisa, the waitress, hands me the unlaminated sheet of paper with the “Specials” on it as though it were new and exciting. “Here are our specials!” she says without even a wink at the repetitiveness of the offer. Maybe there’s something “special” about getting an additional sheet of paper.
I mention this because my Mastermind Group colleagues told me awhile back that I needed to freshen up my menu offerings. I knew they were right when I found myself deleting other company’s emails based on the repetitiveness of what seemed to be the same offer, no matter how much I respected and admired that person. You’ve got to mix it up.
Taking my own advice, I’m creating a new way to conduct my Remarkable Women’s Network events. Rather than doing one a month in different locations, I’m going to offer them only quarterly and have specific agendas at each one ranging from social media to make-overs for yourself and your business image. I’m also adding Soul Proprietor Book Clubs to my mix of offerings.
What this does is freshen things up. Years ago, when I was exhibiting my decorative eggs and jewelry, the first question everyone asked was, “What’s new?” I always had a new line to show them in response. I noticed, though, that often simply because I had something different for them to feast their eyes on, they frequently bought something from the classic line I continued to produce. I’m not sure what the principle of this is, if it has a name, but realized how important it was for them (and me) to keep mixing up the offering.
What are you going to offer in 2011 that is new and exciting both for you and your customers?
BTW, I hardly ever eat at that restaurant anymore.
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One (of many) pieces of practical advice I received by attending the Massachusetts Conference for Women yesterday was from Susan Getgood, author of the Professional Blogging for Dummies, was that when you’re going to write a long entry, let the readers know up front.
Dearest Readers–This will be a long entry.
I got so much out of attending the conference that I don’t want to cheat you out of any of the highlights. My next few posts (at Susan’s suggestion, too) will be shorter in length.
While the entire conference was top-notch, Glenda Hatchett (aka Judge Hatchett) stole the show in my book. She was the final morning speaker following a list of luminaries (Victoria Reggie Kennedy – widow of Ted), Jessica Herrin (founder of Stella and Dot) and my personal favorite Elizabeth Lesser (co-founder of Omega Institute). She immediately won me over when she announced that she was an alumna of Mount Holyoke College, my alma mater. She also publicly thanked a committee member who had known her for 30 years and was instrumental in bringing her up from Atlanta for this event. I love that kind of humility and grace.
Glenda had had a successful career as a litigator for Delta Airlines. By her own admission, she never lost a case, had a healthy 401K and was quite full of herself and professionally comfortable. But she got an offer that changed her life and set her on a new course. “That first day in the courtroom my purpose and my passion intersected.” She told a heart-breaking story of an abandoned 8 year old boy and how she saw that justice prevailed on his behalf. This story, and others, are in her new book Dare to Take Charge, which sold out at the conference shortly after her talk.
When she was tapped for the position of judge in Fulton County Georgia’s Juvenile Court, she talked about turning this difficult decision over to God. In her words, once you’ve turned it over, “You may not be able to pull it back.” While she struggled with giving up the lucrative and attractive perks of her other employment, she made the decision to take the job as judge.
She said it was the most difficult job she’d ever had. Although I’ve never seen her popular TV show, clearly that difficult decision set her on the course to her eventual super-stardom.
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Elizabeth Lesser’s talk yesterday morning was inspiring in a different way. Her message was more focused on the perilous shape our world is in today and what we might do as leaders, each in our own way, to change it.
She referenced the reading she had done in preparation for her talk. She’d spoken at 6 other women’s conferences this fall. The homework she assigned herself over the summer was to read the St. John’s Great Books list aka “The Dead White Man Curriculum” which included The Art of War, Wealth of Nations, The Prince and others. She admitted to throwing in Eat, Pray, Love to smooth it out.
Elizabeth reminded us that we women know what the world needs now–that warfare, domination and control as male leadership models–has brought us to a perilous place. She urged us to find our own style and voice and to lead from that place with courage. “Our world is seriously out of balance.” Male leadership has reached the end of its usefulness she explained.
From her experience in her former career as a midwife, she described the extraordinary intelligence of the uterus. Anyone who went through natural childbirth will remember the instructions to breathe with the pain. Fighting it actually slows it down and makes it last longer. Breathing into it allows the cervix to do its work of expanding to make room for the baby’s birth. It’s not easy to relax into pain. It’s natural to become frightened. But for a birth, or rebirth, pain is inevitable. Our planet needs to stop delaying the inevitable pain that we have been postponing and experience it, birth it and move forward.
After this incredible morning of mind-expansion and inspiration, there was a break before the first set of seminar sessions. I knew I wanted to meet the two speakers signing books–Glenda and Elizabeth. The line for Glenda snaked around the entire area. There was another long line at the cash registers, too, to purchase a copy of Dare to Take Charge. I chose not to wait, knowing I could order the book on amazon. I looked for Elizabeth and was sad to notice that there was no line at all forming for this brilliant and amazing leader.
I promptly headed over to shake her hand and offer my humble praise for her words of wisdom and courage. She is extraordinary and so approachable. I was able to meet Glenda later in the day. I wanted to thank her, too, and share reminiscences of Mount Holyoke, which we did. She and I lived in the same dorms, albeit a few years apart. She was gracious and easy to connect to.
A few other highlights:
Stella and Dot – a fun jewelry line that offers entrepreneurship opportunities for women was started by Jessica Herrin and named after her two grandmothers: Stella and Dot.
Jen Groover – Founder of Butler Bag, a solution to an overstuffed handbag that was created the day she had to dump her entire pocketbook out on the grocery checkout line while her twin babies were howling. Jen shared her mother’s wisdom: “Become comfortable with being uncomfortable.” And, “You are not allowed to complain about something unless you’re willing to do something.”
Patricia Miller, co-founder of Vera Bradley, had the good sense not to name the business after her mother Wilma Poleto, but after her partner’s mother – Vera Bradley. Best advice on this panel regarding scaling up your business: #2 Treat a complaint as an opportunity.
Tory Johnson, one of the lunchtime speakers, proved a powerful point when she held up a $100 bill. “Who wants this,” she asked? “Who really, really wants this?” Many of the 6500 attendees raised their hands, some even vigorously. She kept repeating the question. Finally, one woman stood up, walked up to the stage, climbed the stairs and took the bill out
of Tory’s hand. Tory’s point (I have to admit, I’d seen this years ago with a $20 bill and I was sitting WAAAAAY back or I would have gone up) is that you have to take action when you want something.
The final speaker was Gloria Steinem. It was a joy just to be in her presence. She’s completely unassuming, no make-up. No hairstylist or primping. Very casual. It’s the words that she speaks that are captivating, engaging and uplifting. The quote that got tweeted immediately after (or during, I imagine) her talk was this: A bird doesn’t sing because she has a listener. She sings because she has a song.
I attended the day with Diane Ripstein, a consummate professional in the communications arena. Having her to connect and post-game with was fun. We re-visited the trade show area after the talks had ended (BTW, I’m SO glad I didn’t take a booth!), then hopped on the shuttle bus to the parking area (another one of the well thought out details of the event).
Driving back to CT I was able to savor all the connections I’d made and let the wisdom I’d heard percolate. Before I’d left Connecticut for the ride up to Boston, I’d stopped in at my favorite take-out place, Health in a Hurry. The owner, Sue Cadwell, has become a friend in the years we’ve been doing business together. I stocked up on her delicious granola and
bought a container of her sweet chocolate/carob confections to bring to my hostess. Sue asked where I was off to. When I told her I was attending a women’s conference she said, “You’re so lucky to have your business allow you to attend events like that.” Yes, I am.
Next year’s event is December 8, 2011. Let’s get a bus and all go together.
The Massachusetts Conference for Women is tomorrow, December 9. That’s the event I had considered exhibiting at, but decided against after realizing it was too short notice to properly represent myself. I’ve registered as an attendee.
I’m excited about being among 5000 women who are equally interested in spending the day hearing speakers like Gloria Steinem and Elizabeth Lesser (co-founder of Omega Institute) and taking other workshops on current issues affecting us.
I look forward to spending time with friends and colleagues along the way as well. I’m stopping in Rhode Island for coffee with a client who will soon be moving to the Southwest. I’m spending the night with a good friend and colleague from the National Speakers Association. I love making the time to incorporate deepening relationships with my non-local friends. One of my highest values is maintaining friendships, so I figure out where I’ll be and plan ahead to include people I know in those locations.
I once heard that ‘time is the currency of caring.’ Making time for important people in my life makes me feel incredibly rich and abundant.
I’m not a regular reader of the sports page, but a baseball column by Red Smith caught my eye one day many years ago. Touted as “the game’s greatest writer on the game’s greatest years” Red Smith wrote in the article that after thirty years reporting on the sport he thought he finally understood the game.
With that humble admission I felt a bond to this man. Who ever admits publicly that they are NOT the expert, the one with the answers or #1 in their arena? Yet, aren’t we all constantly struggling to keep that game face alive? I know I am, although you may not hear me say it.
Every Monday morning I have the inordinate luxury of being surrounded by like-minded business owners whom I respect enormously and who readily admit, “I have no idea what I’m doing.” I nod in admiration of their courage and honesty. Feeling like an impostor is as integral to being a business owner as feeling like king of the mountain. It just depends on the day.
C’mon. Admit it! You sometimes feel this way too, don’t you? My feelings can’t be that unique.
What keeps me thriving is that I have a place to make such an admission, to show up in my humanness. That I can own my conscious incompetence, as we say in coaching circles, and keep moving forward in spite of it.
Do you have a safe space to allow your humility to show?
I have three vision boards on my wall, one of which focuses on lifestyle desires I have. There are images of aqua-blue lap pools, vineyards and women in varying degrees of joy. There are also a few pictures of women assuming yoga postures, like the one above.
Yoga has always been on my list of things I should do. I like the way yoginis carry themselves. They have beautiful posture and long, slim torsos. There’s an assuredness that seems to emanate from people who have formed the union of body and soul that I want to have. So I cut out this image that called to me and have been staring at it for a number of years now. I’ve dabbled in classes at Symmetry Yoga and The Edge, but didn’t really commit. More recently, I’ve been doing a 15-minute A.M. practice to a Rodney Yee DVD. I’m feeling the benefits and noticing that my body wants to do it, even though unrolling a cold yoga mat at 6A.M. isn’t always the most inviting activity on my list.
A funny thing happened, as it does with vision boards. I’ve been seeing a new shiatsu practitioner since my beloved Pauline Sasaki became ill and passed away. David Sergel–his tag line is People Follow Earth, which I love–has become my healer. He noticed a particular tightness in my back and suggested I do a specific yoga posture, the plow. “What’s that?” I asked.
“Here, I’ll show you.” See photo below. I’ve now added this posture to my morning practice. Have you noticed me standing any taller yet?
Last night was the first-ever Dinner With Jane held at Meigas Restaurant in Norwalk. What a blast we had! Heather Habelka took this shot during coffee and dessert. This morning I received several emails from the women who attended, each with a variation on a theme that was captured in this email message from Andrea Deinstadt:
Thanks so much for putting together last night’s event. I came with the intention of getting a Jane injection but because of the wonderful women you surround yourself with the benefits were multiplied by sixteen! It was an evening spa for my spirit which really need to be recharged and now I am so invigorated and renewed that I hardly know what to do first!
The evening helped me to remember who I am and the gifts I have and to reorient my focus to my vision and purpose.
There’s something magical about a group of like-minded women together and it is even more dynamic with a visionary leader like you in front, to direct that force. Thank you again Jane; it was a special and powerful evening.
With great affection and respect~
Andréa Deinstadt
ORGANIZING WISDOM
Somers, NY914.276.2728
www.OrganizingWisdom.com
The next Dinner with Jane is scheduled for May. You need to be a member of the Soul Proprietor Book Club to receive the exclusive invitations to this remarkable group. You can sign up today on my home page. Join us!

I’m really excited about the Soul Proprietor Book Club I’m hosting tonight at Meigas Restaurant in downtown Norwalk. There are still a few places, so if you’d like to join me, please come.
The agenda for the evening includes my sharing some new lessons I’ve learned, recounting some that have popped up again for me, and sharing the story of how I got to be good at bragging! You won’t want to miss that one.
Even if you haven’t read my book, you’re still welcome to come and enjoy the festivities. The company will be awesome, the food magnificent, and the atmosphere welcoming and festive. Here’s a link to pay and join me.






