My daughter Laura and I had scheduled a two day getaway to Kripalu (3/17-19) as her birthday celebration. We made the plans a good two months ago, well before last week’s storm prediction or its aftermath. As you know from reading my blog (or scrolling up through the last few entries) Fairfield County was hit hard–no power for 5 days. (I just heard from colleague Sheri Koones that Greenwich is STILL out! My sincerest sympathies!)
So, when Laura and I took off on Wednesday morning at 11am with still no sign of connectivity I knew that I could have cancelled and tried to play catch-up through various means.
Before our departure I conducted my final coaching call for the day in my car where I could keep my cell phone charged. It had been my lifeline since Saturday holding all my contacts and calendar. Then I noticed the dreaded Palm icon appear which signaled a complete re-boot. Only there was nothing left when it rebooted, none of my contacts, no calendar, no phone log, not even solitaire! What’s the message, God?
I chose to totally let go and trust that when I return later today I will be able to recoup and catch up. Disappointing Laura was not an option. It got me thinking about what others might do. Since I offer many events throughout the year I am on the receiving end of many cancellations. I’m sure they are legitimate, but at what point do you put yourself first no matter what? And when I say put yourself first, I don’t mean that in a selfish way. It’s the opposite of putting yourself last which I know legions of women do. What’s your comfort zone for self-care?
I recently read a great newsletter article by Trendmaster Robyn Waters about Coco Chanel. According to Robyn, Chanel’s “success was driven by her unwavering, unique and personal vision of what it meant to be a modern woman. All her life she zigged when everyone else zagged.”
I often feel like I’m zigging, and my personal vision is crystal clear.



5 comments
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March 20, 2010 at 11:01 am
wendy wrzos
Hi Jane,
I absolutely would have gone on with the trip; knowing, in my heart, that I had done everything I could have, and that this was an important time for me and my daughter. Cancelling would not have made your day any better. I think it’s interesting that it went down and rebooted just after you had made your final coaching call.
I think having the courage to be able to follow your heart/goal/vision is brave and scary at the same time. I have done it more and more now as I try to establish a successful business and become who I know I want to be. To me it often seems self-indulgent, and one of my biggest fears is that people think I am selfish and lazy in my everpresent quest for peace and happiness in my every day life.
Making choices to me is often about the everyday details rather than the big picture. I know when I do what is right for me it makes me a more capable, happy and loving person to be around. Who wouldn’t want that?
March 20, 2010 at 5:36 pm
janepollak
@Wendy
Thanks for this! I particularly wanted to respond to ‘what others think’ because the longer I live, the more I appreciate that everyone is too busy thinking about themselves to concern themselves with what I’m doing. What a relief!
March 20, 2010 at 10:30 pm
wendy
You’re welcome
We all need to be heard.
I think if we do it right, taking time for ourselves should give us more quality time to think about others and the world around us…….
And, I believe staying connected and being grateful for the people who influence our lives (in a positive way) is very important. Karma?
April 1, 2010 at 9:16 pm
@LenaWest
*smile*
I have a saying and when people hear me say it, they think I’m on some ego trip. I always say, “I always come first.” And, I do mean always.
I never do anything I don’t WANT to do (I do PLENTY of things I don’t LIKE to do). Life is too precious.
When I’m not happy and balanced, I have such strong energy that I can make life unpleasant for those around me, unintentionally. Plus, I’m a gravitational force for many of my friends and family and they know when I’m not in a good place, I can’t (and won’t) be able to collaborate with them on their successes.
April 2, 2010 at 7:29 am
janepollak
@Lena
You make such a great point at what the downside of your imbalance is–its impact on everyone else. If only EVERYONE took care of themselves first…