Check if this feels familiar: A company owed me a check for the books they had sold during a speaking engagement. I had anticipated receiving that money a few days after the event. Now it was closer to a few weeks and still no check. My resentment was rising. I had to take a look at my piece of the transaction.

  1. Did I have our agreement in writing? No.
  2. I noticed that I was getting more and more annoyed at the absence of an envelope in my mailbox.
  3. I then realized I hadn’t even been to my P.O. to check on incoming mail for several days.
  4. I owned the fact that I had not emailed my contact to be sure the transaction was in process.
  5. I realized my passivity was an old way of operating and hoping someone else would take care of me.

Once I got to my post office and saw that the awaited check was not there, I sent an email and got an immediate response and a check soon after. There had been a glitch in the system, and now they were on it. Very simple. No one to blame.

I find that I need to identify my old, but familiar relationship with victimhood every once in a while to be sure I’m not feeding myself a dose of adrenaline just for the rush of emotions it brings. That’s a dangerous place to live, and I don’t want to dwell there.

Mark Twain said, “My life has been full of catastrophes, most of which have never happened.” Are you susceptible to this behavior? The best antidote I know is to share the situation with a trusted friend or colleague, shine the light of day on it, and remove it from the dangerous neighborhood of your brain.