
Check if this feels familiar: A company owed me a check for the books they had sold during a speaking engagement. I had anticipated receiving that money a few days after the event. Now it was closer to a few weeks and still no check. My resentment was rising. I had to take a look at my piece of the transaction.
- Did I have our agreement in writing? No.
- I noticed that I was getting more and more annoyed at the absence of an envelope in my mailbox.
- I then realized I hadn’t even been to my P.O. to check on incoming mail for several days.
- I owned the fact that I had not emailed my contact to be sure the transaction was in process.
- I realized my passivity was an old way of operating and hoping someone else would take care of me.
Once I got to my post office and saw that the awaited check was not there, I sent an email and got an immediate response and a check soon after. There had been a glitch in the system, and now they were on it. Very simple. No one to blame.
I find that I need to identify my old, but familiar relationship with victimhood every once in a while to be sure I’m not feeding myself a dose of adrenaline just for the rush of emotions it brings. That’s a dangerous place to live, and I don’t want to dwell there.
Mark Twain said, “My life has been full of catastrophes, most of which have never happened.” Are you susceptible to this behavior? The best antidote I know is to share the situation with a trusted friend or colleague, shine the light of day on it, and remove it from the dangerous neighborhood of your brain.


5 comments
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August 24, 2010 at 8:49 am
Lisa Corrado
I completely identify with this! I had an experience where a client didn’t pay my invoice and didn’t respond to my messages. Naturally, I assumed that they were firing me (“Why not assume the worst?” seems to be my motto). In the end, it turned out that my contact had suddenly left the company and didn’t pass my information onto anyone else. Once that was cleared up, I was paid and have been paid very quickly ever since then.
Thinking of having the Mark Twain quote tattooed on my arm!
August 25, 2010 at 1:57 am
janepollak
@Lisa
My hunch is that most folks are oblivious to their own thought processes or consider them “normal.” Thanks for sharing your story. I relate!
September 2, 2010 at 5:38 am
Kim DeYoung
Hi Jane, This post really touched me both for your candor and willingness for self-reflection (which doesn’t surprise me at all knowing you) and for the reminder that we are co-participants in all that happens in our lives. It’s very easy to go down the dangerous road of blame without examining our own part in the process. I have a similar situation going on and will take your blog showing up for me today as the gentle nudge I need to address it head on. xoxo Kim
September 2, 2010 at 7:15 am
Julianne
Thank you so much for these thoughts. It reminded me I was supposed to follow up an Invoice with an email of it (at the client’s request no less) and I forgot to do that. Have a wonderful day everyone!
September 2, 2010 at 8:11 pm
janepollak
@Kim
Did you?
@Julianne
Glad I triggered a thought that will have you get what’s owed you.