…is tattooed on Missy Germain’s arm. Missy and I met at BlogHer ’10 in August. She made a big impact on me with her story of success and her powerfully positive outlook on life.
She emailed me between the holidays to reconnect and to mention an essay she’d written. It seems Missy has been overexposed to a particular message that I feel blessed NOT to have been aware of.
Of course, it’s her decision NOT to participate in furthering that particular cause that inspires me to share her essay in this first blog post of the year. (A part of me hesitates to even make mention of this sentiment for fear of giving it any attention, but I trust my readers can see past that and embrace the heart of Missy’s message.)
NO MORE FML in 2011
I know the feeling of desperation, suffocation, isolation. I also know the feeling of satisfaction, contentment, unconditional love, joy and hope.
I have felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and then having it lifted off.
Living a perfect life is not possible but we can control our path. In fact, we make or break each day we live by our actions and reactions to whatever happens along the way.
The decisions are ours — sink or swim. With a new year approaching, I am going to swim faster and harder, making it through no matter how high or rough the waves.
I am not afraid of hard work. What I am afraid of is not getting the most out of life and at the same time understanding that it isn’t just about me. I want my daughter to know her mother loved her and she tried her hardest to be there for her every step of the way.
I want her to see, by my actions, that living a successful life also involves helping others while expecting nothing in return.
I will survive and not complain because I know there are children and adults all over the world fighting for their lives due to terminal illness or life circumstances.
In 2011, I will delete each and every person who writes the words FML (F**k My Life) on their Facebook or Twitter pages. I want to surround myself with people who think positively and are willing to make the changes that need to be made without quitting – even when life gets really hard.
We all hold the key to our own happiness. I fully expect to make mistakes and stumble along the way. At the end of each day I want to know that I did my best. Despite setback, I will remain sharply focused on my dreams. I will survive.
Write down your hopes and dreams for 2011 and post them where you can see them daily. Start out each day fully expecting to have a positive and fulfilling day and don’t beat yourself up when the going gets tough.
I have two tattoos that serve as guiding principles: “I will choose the outcome” and “I will do whatever it takes.” I live by these and will continue to hold my head high and work through the difficulties that come my way.
May your 2011 be filled with new beginnings and a jumping off point to turn things around in order to be the best you can be.
Peace,
Missy Germain
9 comments
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January 3, 2011 at 7:24 pm
Mavis
I really want to tell you again… Truly it helped me realize that I truly am not alone with Women amongst my circle of networking. I can rebuild and not be fearful of failure anymore. There were some key words in your messages that invoked another spark to regain myself with honoring the needs and matters at hand. Allowing myself to see again truly I am not missing out on the hustle and bustle of the buzzed life style. Thank you!
January 3, 2011 at 9:30 pm
janepollak
@Mavis
I’m not entirely clear on your comment, but it sounds like you got a lot of positive feeling from this post. Glad to hear it served you.
January 4, 2011 at 12:47 am
Jill Flynne
I forwarded this to my daughter so she knows I am not the only mom that feels this way….”I am not afraid of hard work. What I am afraid of is not getting the most out of life and at the same time understanding that it isn’t just about me. I want my daughter to know her mother loved her and she tried her hardest to be there for her every step of the way.
I want her to see, by my actions, that living a successful life also involves helping others while expecting nothing in return.”
January 4, 2011 at 9:32 am
Lennie Rose
This is a great post and manifesto of personal responsibility. I’m with you on this one! Let’s call it the Year of I Will or the Year of Good Choices. This is something we can hand down to our daughters and it will change both of our lives.
Happy New Year!
January 4, 2011 at 9:40 am
janepollak
@Lennie Rose
Here, here! I’m going with the Year of I Will. So grateful my daughters on the same page. I outgrew victims about 20 years ago. Once I realized and accepted that we are ALWAYS at choice. Thanks for your comment.
January 5, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Lisa Braithwaite
Thanks for posting this, Jane. I’ve already sent it to several people, including my 18-year-old niece with a very privileged life, who posted “hate life” when she didn’t get into a chem class and now is slightly behind in her college major.
I’m fed up with the FML culture of drama, where the most minor setbacks are considered life-ruining. Of course, we probably all had similar dramas when we were teenage girls, but now there’s an easy acronym for it. I may not unfriend people who use the acronym (they’re mostly my nieces, after all), but I will start calling them on it!
January 5, 2011 at 2:35 pm
janepollak
@Jill
I know how deeply you care about your daughter. I hope she comes to appreciate your heart-felt concern.
@Lisa
Seems like there’s a big trend out there. I’m so glad you’ll call these ‘victims’ on their perceived disadvantages. Thanks for weighing in.
January 6, 2011 at 11:44 pm
Jim Bourassa
I firmly believe in your inspirational message. I have always felt how a person perceives life is how fulfilling their life will be. Focusing on positives diminishes the affects negatives carry. No ones life is ever perfect so it is useless to mope over the rough spots. Moping only drives others away or brings them down also. Perhaps your attitude is because you have children? I like to believe that. Children can be inspirational themselves! When I watch them play I see pure joy and curiosity virtually unaffected by the world around them.
January 7, 2011 at 11:34 am
janepollak
@Jim
Thanks for your comment. Children help alter my perspective, but ultimately, it’s an inside job.