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I had the privilege of speaking for the Litchfield County Women’s Network last Wednesday night, one of those pouring rainy nights we seem to have had so many of lately. I was a tad grumpy coming in after a long drive, but the mood of the room and the warmth of the members soon parted the clouds in my brain.
Although her business is graphic design, President Chana Monahan is a Toastmasters-trained powerhouse, leading her network through dinner and the best self-introductory ice-breaker I’ve seen. As part of each woman’s 60-second ‘hello,’ we were asked to identify a significant historic moment from our childhood in addition to announcing who we were and what we did in our businesses. I heard everything from the arrival of the Beatles to Kennedy’s assassination to the invention and acquisition of Cabbage Patch Kids. The mood was light, congenial and more revealing than any sound bites on self-proclaimed business acumen. My recalling the world-changing invention of Ford’s Model T got some interesting looks. (I used to be the youngest in the room–What happened?)
After dinner I gave my talk on having A Million Dollar Presence on a Zero Dollar Budget, which I subtitle, How I Got on the Today Show. It was followed by a lively Q+A and discussion. During my book signing I met many of the women, packed up and drove home in more rain.
Not two days later I received a personal, handwritten note from Chana thanking me for my contribution to her group. My talk was pro bono – I do one per quarter – so Chana was expressing her deep appreciation for my time. Enclosed was a $100 Shell gas gift card. What a brilliant gift! In this day and age, if you drive a car, the escalating cost of fueling it has become a major consideration. This was the perfect gesture and will be gratefully used, with Chana and LCBW in mind, when I fill my tank (at least once!).
At the urging of my own personal mastermind group (thank you, Mary, Brenda and Val), I began blogging three years ago this month. At the time it felt like yet another thing to do, another check box on the list. Not quite drudgery, but I couldn’t see the point.
Three years later, I love the sport and absolutely see the ‘why’ in showing up three times a week to give voice to what’s important in my corner of the world.
I’ve approached life in a new and different way, thinking as a journalist rather than Plain Jane. Everything I come into contact with–each new relationship, opportunity or incident–becomes fodder for the mill. Miriam Salpeter brilliantly likened the Royal Wedding to Job Search in a recent posting. Like Miriam, I love taking what’s happening around the world and in my local community and pulling out the wisdom for entrepreneurs, specifically women business owners. Whether it’s swooning over Tina Fey’s Bossypants, or touting the inspiring successes of my clients and colleagues, I feel more alive and connected than I ever have.
I’ve gotten to bond with you in unexpected new ways, and that’s the greater reward. I rarely go anywhere these days where someone doesn’t mention something I shared in a posting. “Loved you in the red coat!.” “Boy, that parking lot attendant sure taught you.” “How was Costa Rica?” It’s surprising, humbling, scary (How’d you know that? Oh, I wrote about it, and you read it! Oops.) I feel more seen and understood than ever before. I’ve discovered what’s really important to me (sharing what I know with other women business owners), what prejudices I harbor (why are there 95% men represented in the iStockphoto.com images?), and how brilliant, courageous and inspiring women are (read any of my posts over the last three years).
Like I heard about entering the speaking and coaching industries, people said, “It’s an easy business to get into, but a hard business to stay in.” I feel the same way about blogs. A lot of people start blogs then abandon them.There can be excitement and enthusiasm at the outset, posting, then watching your numbers grow or not. But it’s the disciplined dailiness of any venture that creates success. I have gotten better at it over time, and simply showing up religiously has its own merits. Brian Tracy says that what makes people extraordinary is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.
This is my 448th post. There have been 1948 comments. I shall continue this journey and welcome your staying with me for the ride.
Here are my favorites from my beach shoot with Katie Settel last week. Would love your feedback! I’m going to update my facebook and twitter accounts and wanted more current (and more flattering) images. What do you think?
I had to bring my car in for its 5000 mile service check-up this morning. Although blogging was on my schedule today, I never expected to find inspiration at my car dealership. But there it was. Right on the keyboard of my service guy. His script!
I remember the first time I heard someone mention creating a script for a phone call. I thought it was cheating. Since then, I’ve come to realize, it’s good business. Think about what you want to say ahead of time. Type up a script and rehearse it over and over until it feels natural to speak the words. Then have it right near the phone so that you can refer to it each time you make or receive a call.
If it’s good enough for Toyota, it’s good enough for me.
During the final session of my winter Mastermind Group, I had participants close their eyes as I read three visualizations. We then debriefed each woman’s to establish a Life Purpose statement. Here’s what happened with Harriette Trevino, co-owner of Bull’s Head Printers in Monroe, CT.
At the start of our last meeting together, Harriette–high on the success of an event she’d hosted the night before–announced to everyone that she was “fully activated.” Like every other member of the Mastermind Group, Harriette had experienced the profound change that occurs when a group of like-minded individuals work together towards committed goals. For Harriette, it was a deep shift in her perspective on the job ahead. She was willing to do whatever it takes to be successful–meeting prospects in her new location, listening to and serving their needs with enthusiasm.
When it was Harriette’s turn to share the thoughts and images she envisioned, the Life Purpose statement that emerged was this: “I am the gentle breeze that lifts and inspires.”
The next day I received an email message from Harriette oozing with joy. After sleeping on her Life Purpose statement for one night, she got a note from a colleague thanking her for the event she’d hosted:
On a side note, your follow-up email below is no less masterfully written than was your MCing last night’s event. Not only were your remarks upbeat and the intros smooth as silk, but you lifted up everyone else who spoke as well. So big kudos to you for a super well done job.
Nice when you get an affirmation like that so quickly.
I hate negativity.
I attended a lunch meeting last week with people I’d never met before. There was an informational component to the event, then Q+A and discussion among the participants. In my mind, it quickly devolved into an ain’t-it-awful session on the woes of the today’s society. I won’t participate in that conversation, expressed my thoughts as a contrarian, but didn’t get any traction or support.
I won’t be returning to that group.
Last night I had some of my neighbors over for dinner. I noticed a similar direction beginning to happen during the hors d’oeuvres part of the evening–negativity predominating the conversation. I’m okay, for a little while, talking about the disaster in Japan and the tragic bus accident on the New England thruway. But when that pessimism permeates the room and becomes powerlessness over circumstances, I need to speak up.
Something goes on in the pit of my stomach which I used to ignore. At one time in my life, I thrived on the drama of those feelings. I now recognize them (almost) immediately and decide if an action is warranted. I take the responsibility for turning the tide or making a hasty exit. Being in that unconstructive place no longer works for me.
Because it was my home and I was the hostess, I made the decision to make a request. “For the next few hours, how about if we focus only on what’s positive and happy going on in our lives and around us?” I didn’t have to ask twice. It was a wonderful evening that left me filled not only with good food, but also good feelings.
I challenge you (and myself) to take responsibility for the conversation you’re in.
Like this:
Leigh Scott attended my Create Your Own Future retreat three year ago this month. During that event, we had a Come As You’ll Be activity projecting forward five years from the present. That night Leigh presented herself as the successful author of a book on parenting. She’s right on schedule.
This morning Leigh showed me a copy of her proposal–the document an author prepares for a literary agent who then sells it to a publisher. I got goosebumps when I saw what Leigh had put together. It was a spiral bound book with dividers for each of the areas required in a proposal including:
- About the book
- About the author
- Marketing
- Table of Contents
- Sample Chapter
- The Competition
And more. It took Leigh nearly a year of dedicated work to prepare this draft. She made the book her priority during this time. She made other changes as well. Knowing how much time she wanted to devote to writing, Leigh looked at her whole life and chose to make changes. She downsized her living situation to reduce her cost of living, which in turn reduced how much money she needed to earn.
These were all well-considered decisions with the vision of the book serving as the achievement that would make this worthwhile. She knew that in order to accomplish this life goal, certain activities would fall by the wayside. Making writing her priority, Leigh intentionally went without watching TV for a year. She chose to make time only for what was most important–earning enough to live while writing this book. Leigh was sure to include and pay for an accountability structure to keep her on track with her writing during the process.
In describing her feeling of satisfaction and delayed gratification, Leigh told an analogous story, perfectly related to her subject matter: parenting. A young boy had poured water on his father’s laptop computer. The father, modeling the behavior of a loving authority, explained to the child that his toy tractor was going to be taken away until the little boy carried out enough chores (suited to his level of ability–like licking envelopes and putting away toys) to make up for his dad’s loss. After four months of enforcing this ‘punishment’ the debt was repaid. The father took out the toy tractor which the little boy thought was brand new. “This is even better than the one I used to have!” he proclaimed. “It goes faster and I like it better.”
When you process something step-by-step (no shortcuts), suffer the slings and arrows of the journey, the ultimate reward is sweeter. Even if you weren’t in Westport, CT this morning, you may have felt the joy radiating out from Leigh’s pleasure in accomplishment.
Watch for Leigh’s book Becoming a Loving Authority: How to Get Out of Your Own Way as a Parent. I’ll see you at the book party!
Many clients approach me with the decision to write a book. Kristin is the only one in my memory who got the job done within the exact targeted time she had scheduled–copy in hand! This is a remarkable, and I have to add fearless, achievement. There are so many obstacles along the way. I watched Kristin skip, hop and pole vault over each one.
Here it is in Kristin’s words:
“I don’t think I feared the book process at all. When we channel fear & anxiety, we can actually create an exciting adventure!
The book process, for me, was very exciting – yet still a huge learning experience. As it was my first book & I decided to self publish, I learned there is much more to the publishing process than I had imagined. The piece that made the biggest impact to me was to hire the right people (a coach (you!), an editor, a graphic designer, and a printer) … and to have an amazing support system to help cheer you on. When you are passionate about what you have written, & about message you want to get out to the world, the process becomes an exciting adventure (just like my book!). Each of us have amazing gifts to share — the challenge, sometimes, is discovering what our unique gifts are. But, once we uncover this, we are ready to share it with everyone … especially when the things we share help others!”
I happily endorsed the book with this paragraph–
Who better than Kristin Andree to tell America’s carpooling working women how to better manage their lives? In her book Don’t Make Me Pull This Car Over: A Roadmap for the Working Mom, Kristin acts as your cheerleader and coach. As you work through her exercises and are inspired by her examples, you’ll see that Kristin walks 100% of her talk. Readers will benefit from her wisdom as well as the Southern charm with which she dispenses it. Andree tells it like it is. You won’t mind the hard stuff because this motivational mama has gotten to the other side and is pulling you over–in a good way.
The book can be purchased via my website: www.andreemedia.com or via the books website: www.dontmakemepullthiscarover.com
If you grew up in the 50′s and 60′s like I did, you remember that there were three major networks and then the lesser places on the dial–like Channel 5, 9, 11 and 13. That was it. We knew what the channels were, where they were located on the dial, and what programming they offered. Come 10 or 11 o’clock p.m. you got a screen full of static until 6 or 7 a.m. the next morning when The Star Spangled Banner would serve as that day’s opening bell. Up after midnight? Fuggedaboutit!
Not anymore! With wall-to-wall cable and broadcast shows, there is never a gap in viewing availability. Attending a tech talk a few years back, the knowledgable speaker mentioned that he told his 14 year old daughter about a TV show about horseback riding, her passion. He told her it would be on at 10am Saturday morning on NBC. She looked at him (with no irony) and asked, “What’s NBC?”
That got a big laugh from the Baby Boomer crowd in the room as well as a heretical gasp. Our sacred television stations have become a thing of the past. And this was over two years ago. When I attended Rebecca Morgan‘s Making Money in Your Jammies session, she showed a slide with the title pre-2008. The image was of dinosaurs roaming the landscape. “We’ve all had to re-boot,” she told the attendees.
I mention this today because Oprah Winfrey, one of my role models, began her OWN network on 1/1/11. I’ve let go of watching television and would love to find it online, but haven’t seen anything that indicates that this is available. Anyone?
…appreciating people on a daily basis. I signed up with SendOutCards a few months ago. I recently heard one of the industry leaders speak and since then have been sending out two cards a day to people I want to acknowledge. Sometimes it’s a birthday card, a thank you for coming to my networking event (left), or simply I’m-thinking-of-you. I LOVE the reactions I’m getting and the fun I’m having getting creative with the SOC inventory and my digital images.
I want to share some of them with you.
I sent this one to my dear friend and wardrobe consultant Scarlett after she wrote an excellent blog post on thinning hair–
And this one to my good friend Meredith who brought her documentary NAKED for a screening in my media room, where she provided wine, snacks and popcorn for the attendees–
And this one I created for a colleague who, after hearing my daughter Lindsey’s audio foreword to my book, sent me a photo of her daughter and said she hoped that one day that little girl would grow up and provide the foreword for her mom’s book–
Well, you get the picture. While I’m busily creating these fun ideas for the people I appreciate, I’m also helping to spread joy–a commodity in short supply these days.
I really do appreciate and care about so many people. I know how important it is to let them know, so am grateful for the SendOutCards ease of use and convenience. (Let me know if you’d enjoy hearing more about this cool service. I’d love to share it with you.)
