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I rely heavily on Scarlett De Bease of Scarlett New York for advice on my wardrobe. She’s created a look-book for me, which means that every time I need to go out in public and look presentable, I have a photographic album of outfits Scarlett has assembled for me to choose from. My bodily flaws are camouflaged by the shapes and accessories she helps me purchase and coordinate.
Naturally, any magazine would want to feature Scarlett’s expertise, not to mention her great good looks. In fact, she was recently contacted by O Magazine (Oprah’s rag for those of you who may not recognize it by name), to be in a makeover shoot for an upcoming issue. Scarlett had emailed me that she had a noteworthy interaction that might be of interest to the women I serve. Here’s the email invitation she received inviting her to be photographed for a spread on fashion makeovers:
Our team of fashion experts are here to help! Tell us about your “problem area” (not limited to the ones listed above [sic arms belly, neck, bust] and we’ll teach you how to dress in a way that will make you (and everyone else) forget all about it!
To which Scarlett replied (thank you, Scarlett, for letting me share your response verbatim for interested readers):
Thank you so much for contacting me, and I am so sorry to say that as much as I REALLY want to be in the magazine, I cannot participate in this feature as it is my specialty to show my clients how to solve the very same issue your feature is all about and it would discredit my work if I were a model for this particular story.
I know you are working hard tonight and I am truly sorry I cannot be a part of tomorrow’s casting. I do hope you will continue to keep me in your files for future features as, naturally, I would be delighted to be included.
Scarlett was relieved and pleased to receive an acknowledgment (often producers do not respond at all) saying “I totally understand” with a winking emoticon after the sentence.
I always love to hear, see or read what goes on behind the curtain. Thanks to Scarlett for sharing this story with all of us.

I just finished reading Onward by Howard Schultz, chairman, president and chief executive officer of Starbucks–lower case letters used by his example. The subtitle of the book is How Starbucks Fought for Its Life without Losing Its Soul. You may remember the closing of many Starbucks stores a few years ago and the looming possible demise of the company. Howard Schultz took back his leadership position and turned the company around. Onward is the tale he tells about this journey. I was mesmerized.
I’m sure every reader is familiar with Starbucks as it is, according to this book, the most frequented retailer in the world. What a gift to read this account of the good, the bad and the ugly of that journey back to profitability well written by his co-author Joanne Gordon.
What, you may ask, can I, a sole/soul proprietor, gain from this corporate giant? Let me count the ways! Here are just a few of the nuggets I highlighted in my edition:
- “Third Place” concept created by Starbucks – a social yet personal environment between one’s house and job (or home office). ~Raise your hands if you’ve met a client or colleague at this “third place.”
- Starbucks is intensely personal. p. 23 ~Isn’t your business, when you really come down to it?
- If coffee and people are our core, the overall experience is our soul. p. 25
- Moving forward became more important than laying blame. p. 28
- We needed to rediscover who we were and imagine who we could be. p. 73 ~Even big companies need to do vision work.
- We will transform the company internally by being true to our coffee core and by doing what will be best for customers. p. 90
- People inside the company needed to see and connect with me. Often. I had to be accessible, almost ubiquitous, more than I’d ever been. p. 99
- Anyone can ask questions with no fear of retribution. p. 99
- When we relegate responsibility to our partners and give them the right tools and resources, they will exceed expectations. p. 110
- Starbucks mission: To inspire and nurture the human spirit one person, one cup and one neighborhood at a time. p. 112 ~Is your mission as simple and straightforward as this?
- Partners mission: We always treat each other with respect and dignity. p. 113
- Emotional connections our true value proposition. p. 117
- At its core, I believe leadership is about instilling confidence in others. p. 308
Is any of this relatable for you?
What business owner wouldn’t feel blessed to have 20 ready-to-work-for-you 20-somethings lining up for face time? That was the premise of an event I attended on Monday night at BeSpoke restaurant in New Haven–an elegant venue with excellent service.
Brilliantly organized by the founders of Super Interns, Julie Braun and Michelle Demers, the FastMatch™ night was exactly that. As you can see in the photo, employers sat on the banquette side of the tables and the soon-to-be interns rotated around the chairs on the inside of the room. Each match lasted 8 minutes. Scripts were provided with questions to ask of each other. Clearly, the young men and women who showed up had been primed to come with resumes, dress professionally and have a cheerful attitude. They all did.
Julie and Michelle were assisted by their own interns who took our names and information at the door and guided us to the location, handed out goodie bags at the end, took photos (exhibit A above) and generally helped the flow of the evening. The two women managed the time efficiently and explained what they were all about as well. Near the end of the event, they put out an offer to the employers to learn more about working with interns.
I attend a LOT of events. Very few (341 Studios immediately come to mind) are as well managed as this. I say this in my blog, because I value your time and would only recommend attending programs of high value. This was one.
I met about ten candidates, many of whom I would gladly find opportunities for. One has already followed up with me. I’m waiting for his references. I have a specific research project in mind for him.
One of my clients is in that long, dark hallway that seems to lengthen and dim as a huge deadline draws near. She has been relentlessly working toward her vision. Opening day is soon. Her gremlins have formed choruses and are serenading her hourly.
“She” is actually a collage of several of my clients who are about to manifest big time, but are on the precipice of belief today. Is it really possible to have this dream? The answer is YES. It just doesn’t feel that way.
One of the tools I give the amazing women I work with is called metavision–taking a helicopter view of what their lives look like rather than the magnifying lens perspective.
All of my clients excel at the microscopic details of getting the job done. They’re exceptional at their crafts, remarkable in their abilities to attract and utilize the skills of others to assist them, and uncommon at accepting responsibility and responding to the needs and wants of others. They’re visionaries when it comes to how their talents can make this world a better place.
Where I need to guide each of these wonderful women is in pulling back from the day-to-day operations and having them look at the big picture. What does your life look like from 5000 feet up? Who’s in the picture with you? Do you like what you’re doing? Are you having fun? What’s the scenery surrounding you? Is this where you want to be?
Often, they are so caught up in the dailiness of production that how they’re living their lives is overlooked. When, on our call, we shoot up and look at what’s happening below, there’s an energy shift, a recognition that this is what they’re meant to be doing. It’s not easy, but it could not be any other way.
All of my clients love what they do. (It’s a prerequisite of working with me.) Where they need my help is believing that the miracle is coming, especially in today’s uncertain economic climate where everything has a longer lead time than in the past. Whether and when it will arrive is not guaranteed, but the daily journey is where we can take responsibility. Your attitude and outlook inform your mental and physical health and your fortune.
The adage tells us it is always darkest before the dawn. Will you stay the course of the long dark night of the soul?
I’m going on vacation soon. As I get ready, I realize how important it is to schedule time off. I had no idea what kind of a winter we’d be having back in October when I scheduled a trip south for February. Now that the date has arrived, I couldn’t be happier. But, as you undoubtedly know, it takes work to go somewhere to relax.
Like hiring a cleaning lady and then organizing your house before she comes, for a business owner going away requires getting your ducks in a row. Before leaving for this trip I made sure my marketing e-blasts were written and scheduled and that my Virtual Assistant was on top of all the upcoming activities. She’ll be my only channel of communication while I’m out of the country. I recorded my out-of-office message both on my phone and my email account. I arranged my schedule with clients around this time away. I even pre-wrote blog posts to go live during this time. It was doing double-time so that while I’m on the beach, I can do nothing.
I know how important doing nothing is. For a Type A like me, I also know what a challenge it is. Yell at me if you receive an email from me between now and March 7. Zig Ziglar advises us to let everyone know about goals that are advantaged by outside monitoring–like giving up smoking or drinking or refraining from electronics while trying to relax.
The advantage to scheduling time off is that it brings into sharp focus all that’s in front of you, forces you to prioritize and delegate or plow through. Otherwise, we all just kind of go along. When clients say they want to give a workshop or have an open house, I immediately suggest they send out the invitations. The rest will take care of itself. Did you know that the English translation of the word vacation (this is a little known fact) is actually ‘deadline’?

I work with creative, talented and successful women entrepreneurs. As a rule, the ideas come to them a mile a minute, but there’s inevitably the frustration of implementation. What do you do with all those brainstorms and bright ideas?
At my mastermind meeting last night the subject of hiring interns came up. There’s no time like the present to grab the talent that’s out there. With so few jobs available, the prospect of working for a woman-owned creative business simply for the experience is an opportunity whose time has come. It’s a buyer’s market.
When I was running my art business, I approached the Chair of the Art Department at nearby Norwalk High School to see if she could help me find students to work a couple of afternoons a week. What resulted was a long-term friendship with Mary Quinlan (now retired from that position and painting full-time) and a stream of highly motivated and gifted student interns who allowed me to focus on generating new ideas which they could implement for me.
So much has changed since those days, but the premise of having someone color in between the lines you’ve drawn remains. I think that tapping relationships for referrals is your best tool for finding quality help, but now there’s also facebook, craigslist and blogging to get the word out about the gap you want to fill.
My advice to the group last night was to offer credit (where applicable) rather than money when appropriate. What small business owner isn’t cash-strapped and what student wouldn’t want to be in the field learning from experience? But even paying $100 per week for 10 hours of labor seemed manageable and exciting to the women I coach. The goal to hire an intern was set. I offer it to you as well.
We as business owners all know that the way to capitalize on our resources is to spend our time doing the tasks we do best and delegating the rest. When I was new and young in my business I did it all: data entry (handwriting names on 3×5 cards), producing the items for sale (decorated eggs, jewelry), marketing (designing the postcard mailings and applying the stamps myself), etc., etc. I always felt like I didn’t have the money to pay someone else. And besides, it would take longer to explain it than to just do it.
Over time I learned that in order to grow, I needed to let go of the work that I could hire out and that had a lower dollar-an-hour amount in cost. If I could design and sell an egg for $100 and it took me an hour to do that, then anything taking up my time–like filing or licking stamps (this was pre-self-stick stamp days) valued at less than $100 per hour–I would be wise to delegate. Eventually I hired an assistant in my studio at $10 per hour and never looked back.
Nowadays, I spend 90% of my time coaching, speaking and writing for which I have the highest return on my investment. I hire people to convert my online e-newsletter to html, take registrations for my events and outfit me so I look professional and stylish.
Think of it this way if you’re having a hard time letting go. At some point our forefathers and foremothers let go of milking their own cows and trusted that the milk they drank would be okay, even if it didn’t come from the labor of their own hands.
Is there a to-do on your list that you’d like to let go of but are afraid of losing control? Can you trust that delegating this labor-intensive task will free you up to be more productive in your business? Call a goal buddy and commit to letting go of the equivalent of cow-milking. Let me know how it goes.

That’s the title atop page 68 in The War of Art, a volume I recently listened to on CD and also own in paperback. The author, Steven Pressfield, likens being an artist to being in the Marine Corps.
“The Marine Corps teaches you how to be miserable.
This is invaluable for an artist. [My note - You can substitute business owner for artist here.]
…He will be dining for the duration of a diet of isolation, rejection, self-doubt, despair, ridicule, contempt, and humiliation…
Because this is war, baby. And war is hell.”
There’s something perversely heart-warming about how Pressfield states this. I want to say, “Yeah! I’m fighting for my life every day!”
If you’re reading this, and you’re and artist/entrepreneur, you will thoroughly enjoy this book. As promised in the subtitle: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles.
I don’t know an entrepreneur out there who doesn’t face the challenges of, what the author calls, resistances and coaches call gremlins. This book arms you for that battle and makes you proud to show your scars.






