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My daughter Lindsey had two reasons to celebrate on Sunday, September 5. First, it was her birthday, an event we’ve always taken very seriously. As a young child it meant being allowed to pick a favorite brand of cereal (i.e. Cap’n Crunch vs. Cheerios) on that special occasion.This year it was selecting a restaurant in Manhattan along with a matinee.
This past Sunday was extra special for another reason. Lindsey, an expert in the next generation career arena, had responded to the NYTimes Magazine cover article entitled What Is It About 20-Somethings? Her letter to the editor was the lead entry in Sunday’s paper. In a large font and with her name spelled correctly. True happiness. I’m so proud! Check it out:
As I read Robin Marantz Henig’s discussion of 20-somethings, I was struck by the sense that the new life stage she was ascribing to this generation could actually be something that adults of all ages experience today: feeling unstable, struggling with ferocious competition for jobs, wondering if our relationships and finances can go the distance.
I consider it progress that every young person doesn’t feel the need to complete school, leave home, marry and have a child by a certain deadline. There is no “one size fits all” adulthood…
Read the rest of the letter here.
I had the immense pleasure and privilege of sitting at the table with Missy Germain and her mother Gail at the opening breakfast session at BlogHer 2010. I was with Sarah Youngblood, my client and friend from Georgia, when we randomly sat down and then pinched ourselves with delight that we had met such successful bloggers right at our table.
Missy and a partner created the blog bittenandbound.com which, her by her tagline’s admission offers “the not so pretty side of Hollywood.” On my own, I would never have come across this blog, but after talking to Missy, I got more interested. She shared their sky-high hit rate and how hard they have worked to achieve this. What was so exciting was to hear someone so successful in this medium, and a very nice person to boot.
I also loved the relationship between this mother and daughter who work together. They clearly had great affection for each other. You could see the pride in each others’ eyes, not to mention the delight at the fact that they were being very well compensated for their efforts.
I couldn’t help but noticing the tattoo on Missy’s arm. I saw it, but wanted to really get a closer look at what the message said. It reads, “I will choose the outcome.” Gail, her mother, elaborated. “Missy believes in wearing her intention.” Clearly, Missy has her eye on the prize and goes after it with intelligence and drive.
I choose to follow these women and learn more about how they’ve become so successful. I’ve committed to diving in deeper to social media as the way to achieve that knowledge. A large part of that commitment I owe to Miriam Salpeter who has been encouraging, guiding and nudging me forward via twitter. I’m in, Miriam!
My younger daughter Laura, to whom my book Soul Proprietor is dedicated, helped me out this week by listening to the soon-to-be-released audio version of the book. Line by line, she read the text while listening to the recording I’d spent the last couple of months on. I wanted a fresh pair of eyes and ears to catch any stumbles or other errors in the recorded version.
She did a fine job dog-earing any page that had a repeated phrase, a mispronunciation or missed word from the text. I want this to be letter perfect. I plan to submit it for acceptance in iTunes and know that any boo-boos would throw it into a reject pile. (BTW, if anyone knows the best way to get onto iTunes listings, please let me know.)
When she was all done reading this new edition as well as listening to my voice speaking it, I asked her if she had learned anything new. After all, she’s known me for 28 years. I was pretty sure it would be in her bones having lived with and observed me for the first 18. Laura is entrepreneurial now herself, translating Japanese text daily for an international television company. She works independently and takes on other freelance work as it comes.
“I was not aware of how much help you’ve gotten from other people,” she told me. The book is filled with examples of my reaching out and asking questions of people in my mastermind group, taking courses, attending networking events and otherwise relying on a think-tank of friends and colleagues who have been more than generous with their advice and resources.
“I didn’t realize how many people you’ve hired and how much you’ve delegated.”
“I had no idea how persistent you have to be. You would call someone six times before letting go. I’ve never done that.”
I love that Laura had me so magically powerful–that I had created it all by myself. But, I love it more that she knows the truth and has a realistic sense of what it truly takes to be successful: lots of help and the determination, willingness and self-caring to go for it.
I consulted my BLOGWORTHY file this morning for inspiration. I often rip out articles from magazines and newspapers I read and tuck them into a file folder for future use. (I’m giving away my demographic, eh?) As I was thumbing through that collection checking for resonance, the one that jumped out at me was an article by Michael Lewis from O Magazine, the June 2009 issue. It was a piece on parenting. The sentence I underlined read, “We’re all just groping, then lying about it afterward.”
Yup, all those parents who claimed their children slept through every night and who never encountered sibling rivalry among their offspring. I was never able to make those claims because me and lying aren’t compatible.
I hear parallel claims today in my entrepreneurial sphere. Business owners I meet who are “having their best year ever” and whose phones are ringing off the hook. That may or may not be true. I don’t actually care whether it is or not, nor do I compare myself to their assertions. Time has a way of outing impostors, so it’s not up to me to challenge anyone else’s claim.
What I loved about this line was what Lewis exposes about us all (when we’re being totally honest). We’re all just groping. The more creative and persistent that groping is, the more successful we’re likely to become. Once again, it comes down to feeling good enough about yourself in the day to choose what methods you’ll pick today. In the good ole days it was going after the low-hanging fruit. Now, it’s planting the seeds, or figuring out which land to stake out your new garden in.
This is an entry of optimism and encouragement. I say, “grope away” and put any face on it you need to in order to keep groping tomorrow.
Now that the print edition of Soul Proprietor has been published, I am working to update the audio version as well. Yesterday I was so happy to have my daughter Lindsey come to CT to record the foreword she wrote for me. Foreward_Lindsey.mp3.
She’s such a pro! As a consultant to LinkedIn, she regularly gives webinars for them and is used to working with recording equipment. Walt Graham, my go-to sound person, was duly impressed.
We extended our time in the studio a bit, discussing the project with Walt and snapping some candids of the process.
A funny thing happened on the way to Lindsey’s arrival from NYC. In order to entice her to get on MetroNorth for this favor, I offered to treat her to a pedicure with my favorite practitioner. Lindsey was happy with the prospect of being pampered, so I was a tad disappointed when Monica, my pedicurist, texted me to let me know she would not be able to give the treatment as her mother required unexpected care in NJ. She canceled Lindsey’s appointment. Not an hour later Lindsey called to say she had a request. “Would it be okay with you if I don’t get the pedicure today? I really need to get back into the city.”
Sometimes things just work out so well.
After we left Walt’s place, Lindsey and I had time for a relaxing iced coffee at Starbucks near the train station. I hope you’ll take 3 minutes to relax and listen to Lindsey’s reading. If you’d then like a copy of the new edition of Soul Proprietor, click the title to order your copy.
My daughter Laura and I leave for Danbury prison early this morning (it’s 5:49am as I write this). I’m unsure of what will happen at the job fair I’ve agreed to speak at, but anticipating a valuable learning opportunity. I’m going with an open mind, open heart and desire to share what I know.
In the meantime, I got a hearty response to my last blog about fees and pricing. Even as I was writing it, my mind kept flashing on my friend and colleague Kate Kelly. Sure enough, this message arrived soon after I posted. Take advantage!
From Kate:
How to Set Your Fees and Get Them, a book I wrote to address the difficulty of fee-setting, provides VERY helpful advice for anyone selling their services. Now that I’m writing more in the field of American history, I haven’t had time to re-publish the book so some of the anecdotes are a bit dated. That said, the book’s advice is still very solid, very relevant.
The book retailed for $17.50 but because I’m not actively promoting it, I would be more than happy to provide your readers with a “deal.” If they are willing to mail me $6 which will cover the envelope and first class postage, I will be honored to send them a copy of the book. Pls put Fees Book in the subject line and e-mail me: kkelly@katekelly.com. I’ll send them my mailing address and the book will go out as soon as I receive payment to cover my costs.
After a super-busy weekend in NYC and out of my office for nearly three days, things have a way of piling up exponentially. It feels burdensome to walk into my office and see every countertop filled with business cards, unsorted mail and yellow stickies with important to-do’s jotted down on them.
The first thing I did this morning was a gross sort. As you can see from this photo, I have a lot of areas in my life. I just assigned each of them a pile and labeled them so I can spend quality time on book promotion, my new Mastermind groups, speaking and family matters.
By doing this, I opened up space on the other side of the office for actually generating the effort:
Lesson 48 in the new edition of Soul Proprietor is all about getting organized. “What really, really gets me inspired is a clean desk.” (p. 94)
It happened for me this morning. As soon as all the piles were sorted out and that space next to my computer was cleared out, I could feel my creative juices begin to flow and my energy rise. Try it. You’ll like it.
BTW, I set a timer and give myself 15 minutes for the sorting. It’s motivating to know I don’t have to spend an hour doing this, just 15 minutes. Don’t you know, after the buzzer goes off, I’m so into the process I set it for another 15 so I can keep going.
I rejected the first cover proof of my book Soul Proprietor because the red in the New Edition area was too dark and the type on Lindsey’s name bled into the background.
My wonderful book designer Kim Barron made the necessary adjustments; we sent it back for modification, and the revised proof arrived this morning to my liking. Approved and checked off the long list of to-do’s.
Not sure you can see it on this size image, but in the dark area to my right, it says “Foreword by Lindsey Pollak.” I can’t tell you what a huge thrill this is for me. For those of you with children, you know that asking for things doesn’t always get you the desired answer. So, I was a little nervous making the request of my very successful first-born. She’s super busy, and I didn’t know if she’d appreciate the extra task on her list. She knocked me over with her generous acceptance, and touched me deeply with her eloquent words and heartfelt references. Wait’ll you read what she wrote…
I’m excited to tell you that I’m now taking pre-orders. We got the website and shopping cart set up. These first orders will be shipping out a month from today. Be the first in your entrepreneurial network to have your copy! Here’s the link to place your order. One of the bonuses in pre-ordering is that you can get an autographed copy. You can put in any special requests–names, salutations, quotes you’d like included in the inscription in the comments area on the order form–and I’ll gladly include them.
I received an unusual offer today to participate in a job fair at the Danbury Correctional Institution. The educational director who placed the call talked about the need to help women prepare for the job market assisting with resume writing and interviewing skills.
I quickly explained that I am all about helping women start and run their own businesses. My goal is to help women become independent not only financially, but also professionally–to be the charters of their own course.
He went on to say that actually many of the prisoners have talked about the dream of owning and operating their own companies. Would I be willing to share my expertise with them?
I have to admit that this has given me pause. It is not my usual demographic, but there is something intriguing and rewarding about considering helping this population succeed. I will run it by my mastermind group which meets tonight for their thoughts. I’m leaning towards participating.
I mentioned it to my younger daughter Laura. When she said she would be willing to come with me, I leaned more in the direction of saying yes.
I’d be interested in hearing from any of you who may have experience in helping women in this way.
After hearing rave reviews for Venus in Fur playing way off-Broadway (13th Street in NYC), my daughters and I got tickets for yesterday’s matinee performance, the last one of the run. I got there early to pick up the tickets my older daughter had ordered.
The box office attendant looked through the “will call” names, then asked me to spell ours. He went on the computer, found our order and said, “Your tickets were for Sunday, February 28, not today, Sunday, March 28.”
There is only one time each year where Sundays line up in that way–February and March. When we hadn’t shown up last month, those seats were re-distributed. He offered to put us on a rather long waiting list. I agreed, but wasn’t pleased.
We stood there while everyone happily entered with their tickets in hand. Then, like being on stand-by for a much desired flight, we waited hopefully. One by one they called the people ahead of us on the list. It was now past 2pm–showtime. A couple came rushing in for their “will call” tickets. A guy on a cell phone in the lobby was anxiously awaiting his date who was delayed on an inter-borough bridge. At 2:05 he handed his tickets back in for a refund. At 2:07 the manager said, “Let’s those three women into the last three seats.” which they did. We were separated, but it didn’t matter at all.
The show was riveting, hilarious and doubly appreciated because we had almost missed the opportunity. The lesson? Double-check anything you book in February and March for the date. Arrive early enough to make the list. Let go of the results. And be nice to the person at the box office.
A much smaller disappointment (without the thrilling alternative) came in the mail. I had signed up for an Investment Planning for Women course offered through Continuing Education in Norwalk, CT. I’m on a mission to become crystal clear on finances. My check was returned along with a form letter that said, “Due to a lack of enrollment, the class you registered for has been canceled.”
Really? In this time of economic crisis? I thought is would fill in the blink of an eye. I think I’ll check what shows have tickets for those nights…
