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I received this testimonial from a client I worked with a few years ago. I was so happy that she shared it with me that I asked her permission to share it (anonymously) with you. I hope you feel as inspired and motivated as I did reading it.
Short story: I’m speaking in two weeks at the XXX* conference, sponsored by Xxxxx* Women. I reached out to the president to ask if there was a room rate at the Crowne Plaze where the conference will take place (in Any City*, ST*) . She responded with the name of her contact and the room rate. After writing the contact I thought; (channeling your lessons) ‘Wait a minute, I’m traveling, speaking (and not being paid) shouldn’t I ask my host to pick up the tab for my room?’ So I took a deep breath, wrote her and asked, and lo and behold the answer was YES. Had I not asked, I’d be paying for my own room and not feeling very good about it.
*Names changed to protect the innocent.
I congratulated my client for her courage and action. I hope you are inspired to ask for something you need today.
Like this:
Professionals!
Please, someone, anyone, remind me that I’m a smart person. Because I’m surely not feeling it lately. There’s something about tax time that raises my self-doubt to the tipping point. (Or maybe it was the addition of a rough stomach virus that had me considering retirement yesterday…)
I just called Lauren at my payroll company because I received something from the Department of Labor declaring 1.90% as the minimum contribution rate for 2012 followed by the number 73. Huh? I brought this sheet to my accountant yesterday who referred me to the payroll people. I have no idea what this means. But when I called my payroll processor, she said, “Oh, no problem. Fax it over and we’ll make that change.”
There’s a high level of trust here, because I’m truly in the dark and don’t even want to ask the first question. Do you EVER feel like that?
My meeting with my accountant went well. Until I got tripped up on the part where he said that the charitable contributions I’d made aren’t business expenses, but are deductible in another way. What’s the difference?
If you’re reading this and thinking, “But, Jane, everyone knows this stuff,” please give me a call and really dumb it down for me.
What I’m really curious to hear about from you is: what puts you over the edge? We’re all operating at such a high level in so many areas of our lives. When I’m tripped up by my lack of knowledge, I don’t want to minimize my brilliance, as I am wont to do. I’ve got good recovery skills, but would love to prevent the deep dive.
What I’m truly grateful for is that there are professionals out there who can guide me through…and not judge me. I don’t have to understand it all, so long as I have good people in place who do.
I recently bumped into a friend I hadn’t seen in a few years. We had a lot in common when we first met–young kids, young businesses. We were close friends during those early decades, but life, moves and different industries took us in different directions.
It’s always interesting to hear what comes up when you see someone from the past. What I wasn’t expecting was to hear about her financial woes during our less than 5 minute conversation. And a request to spend time with me, ostensibly for my advice. I left feeling icky. Would she even listen to my advice, or would she just continue to vent her upset? Do I turn down a friend? I have a hunch she won’t call.
I remember meeting a young woman at a networking event who had her infant on her shoulder–an unusual enough sight at a business meeting. But our brief conversation had me backing away quickly from her negativity. “What a beautiful baby,” I said admiringly. “Thank you,” she replied, “but she should be with her deadbeat father who left me high and dry tonight.” Speaking of too much information.
My big takeaway, and my nugget to pass onto you, is to notice what’s bubbling up in your conversations and be sure that it’s what you want to be talking about. If your personal pain is spilling out uncontrollably, it’s time to go for help. But a random meeting in a parking lot is not the place to begin.
Getting specific around numbers is an awareness that continues to grow within me.
I still remember my 10th grade math teacher, Miss Stone, who always referred to things that happened “a hundred years ago.” Invariably, it meant something from two decades prior–or before us high-schoolers’ brief lives even existed. Now, hundreds of years later, I find myself using that phrase every ten seconds. Since the rise of the Internet and all it has brought with it, anything 20th Century does feel like eons ago.
It’s got me thinking about how and why we over-estimate numerical values. I rarely say I have 38 emails in my inbox. It’s “I’ve got a thousand emails.” Or, I won’t get specific and say I have to return 6 phone calls. No, it’s “I have to make a ton of calls.”
I was thinking of this today as time becomes more and more precious. I’ve gotten hundreds of new clients since the second or third week of September. Four, to be exact.
What is the correlation–for you–between what you say out loud and the truth?
Is it to make us feel more important? To pump up the numbers to foster our sense of significance? How much more trustworthy is the person who names the actual amount without exaggeration? There’s a ring of truth when it’s spoken, and that’s what I want to hear, no matter how low it goes.
Do you ever inflate your numbers, and if so, for what reason?
I just heard a useful piece of information regarding pricing. The age-old question is: How much should I charge? It doesn’t matter if it’s a piece of jewelry or a coaching service. The quandary of how to price your goods or services is a perennial challenge.
I have always loved my father’s wisdom on the subject, coming from the retail background he did. His response was a question: How much is a black dress? Of course, it depends. What’s the fabric? Who’s the designer? What’s the market–Bergdorf’s or Target? You can see that the decision, while influenced by these factors, is arbitrary.
Carolee Friedlander of Carolee jewelry designs taught me years ago that “jewelry is a blind item” meaning that so many factors go into it that there’s no strict formula for creating the pricing structure. Whatever the market will bear comes to mind. That’s true in the coaching world as well. There are coaches charging $50 per session and others charging $1000. There is no definitive rule on the matter.
A new slant on all of this came via a coaching community I’m a part of. The instructor began bluntly. “If you don’t know what to charge in your own industry…” (Now here I thought he was going to give a lecture on market research and due diligence, but he surprised me) “…then you can only imagine how little your customer knows about pricing in your industry.” Brilliant! And true.
Prices are all over the place in every industry, so why not make up your own? His point, which is one I salute and profess myself, is to put it out there and see what happens. There is too much analysis paralysis (guilty!) and not enough running it up the flagpole to find out who’s saluting.
Lesson learned. Watch for my new offer coming soon…
When we first met many years ago, Kim’s children were small and in school, but even then she held a vision in her heart, and it was huge. There were a lot of nay-sayers in her midst (“You could never do that here!” types), but Kim began building her community right where she was. At first she invited women into her home for spirited dinners and discussions. She led groups on tours to her native New Zealand and taught yoga postures to tots.
Back then she and I mapped out a plan, talked about real estate availability and always kept in mind Kim’s bigger picture contribution to Fairfield County–creating a place where people can gather and have fun. She continued to develop her vision step-by-step and opened up a seasonal kayaking shop in downtown Rowayton a few years later.
I watched Kim’s progress via e-newsletters, signs about town and at networking events. Last year she made the commitment to open a year-round kayaking, SUP (stand up paddle board) and surf shop in Westport. No small feat! Kim’s vision carried her through as she dealt with bankers, marketing and PR companies, graphic designers, merchandisers, store managers, guides for her tours, website developers and social media strategists.
She confronted challenge after challenge from financial and business planning, zoning regulations and keeping up employee morale during this long, dark winter. Throughout, Kim made sure she took time to care for herself, the golden goose, so that as the leader of this enterprise, she was continuously coming from a place of great strength and courage, which she did.
Last night was the party for friends and family. I’m honored to be standing in the Westport DownUnder Kayaking store next to Kim in this photo where she’s also surrounded by her sister and daughter. It takes a team of good men and women, and Kim has carefully selected with whom to surround herself. She has an extraordinary staff and devoted followers.
I plan to go kayaking at DownUnder over the holiday weekend because fun is definitely on my agenda. Hope to see you there, Mates.
While waiting for my friend Patty to arrive for our coffee date recently I observed a young family interacting. Mom and Little Sister were taking care of personal needs in the ladies room. Dad and Big Brother were negotiating the order and table arrangements. An argument ensued over the choice of venues. Dad said to Big Brother, who was all of 4 years old, “When you go to work and make all the money, you can decide where to eat.”
Whoa, Brother! I almost did an intervention, but restrained myself. What kind of a message was he laying on that child? Is that how it works in his family? The one who brings in the income is the decision-maker. What did that little boy hear? Dad is all-powerful and money rules? It gave me shivers, and my body doesn’t lie.
What were the formative messages you heard as a kid regarding money? Some of mine were, “No one will ever pay for one of your eggs.” “That’s too much to charge.” “What am I, a money tree?” Would love to have you share the conversation you heard around money and how it impacted you personally and as a business owner.
…and 600 others was held at the Hartford Downtown Marriott yesterday and focused on the Econo-ME. Kristin Andree graciously extended the invitation to me and two other colleagues whom I was thrilled to meet: Dena Castricone, President of CABO and Trisha Gallagher of The Gallagher Group.
It felt good to dress up and hang out with another industry at an upscale venue. It broadens my perspective. The room was filled with men in suits, as this event was sponsored by Northwestern Mutual. John Schlifske, the Chairman and CEO, shared the dais with Steve Forbes and pitched the benefits of investing with Northwestern Mutual. “I paid for your lunch, so I get to do this,” he said tongue in cheek.
I thought I’d be out of my league in terms of the info being imparted, but I felt comfortable and intrigued. Here were a few of the notes I jotted down:
“Black Swan” (not the movie) – A term for something that happens in nature, but only rarely, like what’s going on now in Japan, for instance.
He said that we are experiencing the slowest recovery in the history of our country.
“Fear and greed ruin most people’s portfolios.”
He also recommended listening to your financial adviser as you would your personal trainer. They know what’s best for you, unlike your brother-in-law or friendly neighbor with a hot tip on the market.
“Don’t let your inbox dominate you. Be strategic rather than tactical.” (Or what I call being pro-active versus reactive.)
Here’s the last one which I need to chew on a bit: “Emotions are your enemy.”
Who wants to discuss that one?
I had to actually cut this image out of my AARP magazine issue this month to see, if indeed, the two shades of gray (A + B) were, as claimed, the same. They are. What changes our perception is that big green cylinder casting a shadow.The point of the illusion is ‘how bad our brains are at judging absolute values.’
It would be more symbolic if the cylinder were red and had the word DEBT inscribed on it. Because it is the nature of debt to alter perception to everything around it. As in this illustration, it makes A not look like B.
As a coach, I hear the debting issue often. It can present as, “I need to make more money” or “I can’t afford to…” Because debt exists, and the threshold depends on the individual, opportunities go unseen, fear replaces action and paralysis sets in.
My own debt threshold was $3000 in credit card debt back in 1996. I had enough to pay it off, but preferred the feeling of having that money in a savings account. Others are able to tolerate great amounts of debt. I’ve heard everything up to $8 million in debt. I don’t blink at the number of zeroes because the root cause is essentially the same.
I didn’t like the direction in which my debt was heading. Similar to the annual five pound weight gain, it crept along until I noticed I was getting fatter and that my monthly credit card payments were exceeding my spending quotas. I decided to do something about it. I paid off the $3000 and have never had a credit card balance since. In fact, I slowly went to 100% debit card usage in spite of the allure of airline points. I knew that I’d have more time to earn money if I stopped angst-ing over the debt issue and would be able to pay for flights without having to work the system. Have you ever calculated the hours lost to trying to book flights on points?
When debt or the green cylinder is in your way, you are not as available to see your options clearly. What you notice most of all is the debt. It can be blinding, terrifying and real. Solutions seem unreachable. Alternatives fade from view or hide in the shade. There’s just the DEBT and the fear mentality it fosters.
There is a solution, and it is to stop the debting behavior. Today.
My friend Doreen mentioned a sign she noticed while seated in a public space. After reading it, she did a double-take. It was a fire exit by the door whose message she immediately re-framed. As a business owner, she knows how critical it is to Keep Clear At All Times.
When she shared this with me, I had to laugh. Having seen similar signs for years, I never made the entrepreneurial connection to its message. Talk about ‘when the student is ready, the sign will appear.’
Here are the checkpoints I want to stay clear about at all times. Feel free to use what you choose.
- How much income do I have today? This month? Am I on target for this year?
- How many customers/clients do I have? What’s my goal for how many to serve?
- Do I know exactly what I’m offering to each of them?
- Whom do I owe money to and how much? And when is it due?
- Who owes me money?
- When are my (estimated) taxes due?
- How and how often am I reaching out to my market?
These are the thoughts that go through my brain on a regular basis. When I know the answers to all or most of them, I find myself at peace. When more than a few are unclear, I’m less comfortable. I like the simplicity of that sign and will hold it as a mantra now.
