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Someone asked me today if there’d been a full moon (it was full, huge and beautiful last night), because the atmosphere felt fraught with unpleasantness. I knew what she meant. I’ve been experiencing some push-back and hearing tales from others that it’s choppy waters out there. Whether it’s the turn of the calendar page, the back-biting among our nation’s candidates or holiday hangover, something’s in the air.
What’s a woman business owner to do?
What has gotten me through over the years is positive self-talk and mantras that affirm that this is normal and to be expected. Rosabeth Moss Kanter, from the Harvard Business School, says that her ‘personal law of management, if not life, is that everything looks like a disaster in the middle.’
I also love the saying that the higher up the mountain you go, the harder the wind blows.
And that mastery is less about your skill set than your recovery time.
I’ve had a few confrontations already this year and have faced them square on. I don’t always like the outcome, but the issues are dealt with and done, which beats dragging garbage bags full of resentments with me wherever I go. My side of the street is clean. Not everyone may like what I do, but I’m comfortable with the decisions I’ve made.
What has helped me most is a reliable source of support. I’ve created many safe havens for myself in my years as a business owner. Interestingly, and this must be why this is popping up right now, my next webinar module (after this week’s on Communicating Your Message) is entitled Establishing Support Systems for your business. I have individuals to call upon, my own coach, my own mastermind team, and weekly groups where I go and share my current issues and receive supportive feedback. I know that I’m not alone, and a burden shared is a burden halved.
My favorite mantra of all, which someone reminded me about just today, is “Don’t quit before the miracle.” You’re not alone.
Since my 2011 business year ended nicely in the black, I worked hard in December to invest some of my earnings back into my company by enrolling in courses for the upcoming year.
One of my business gurus, Brian Tracy, uses the figure 5% of income as the target number of dollars to spend on education. If you grossed $100,000 spending $5K on education would be prudent, for example.
With a decent budget to work from I thought about where I’d like to study and with whom. I considered trade shows, conferences, courses and cruises as I began planning for the upcoming year. I’d also recently heard from three different colleagues about a program offered at Harvard called Immunity to Change. Those kinds of signs have reliably pointed me in the direction of my vision. I’ve enrolled in that three-day course in Cambridge, a week-long holistic cruise where I’ll be able to study lifestyle practices and network with practitioners in March, and a few other well-timed, choice learning experiences to expand my knowledge and community.
I’m also offering others a way to expand their business skills in 2012. My webinar Soul Proprietor’s Formula for Building Your Business has been a great success. The 20+ women currently enrolled are taking strides in their businesses, meeting other remarkable women through our private Facebook group and actively pursuing their visions. A new session is beginning next Monday, January 9 at noon. I’ve got a very special offer (scroll down for the great pricing) on right now for those who enroll by midnight January 6.
One of the best features of webinars in general is that you don’t have to be physically present to receive the information. All of my sessions are recorded along with the visual materials that accompany the talks. You get to learn at your own pace, according to your own calendar and style. Even the twice-weekly question and answer sessions will be recorded so you won’t miss a word of advice.
I invite you to join me this year and start investing in your own learning. Who knows? With my help, next year’s education budget can exceed your wildest dreams.
I’m thrilled to report that my first free webinar last week attracted over 50 participants and that every space available for my upcoming program sold.
In my own business and the businesses of my colleagues, and what I see in the world at large, we must keep trying out different offerings and seeing what works.
We’re throwing spaghetti against the wall to see what sticks. Boiling that water. Dropping in the pasta. Tossing it at the wall. Noticing what happens, then rinsing and repeating. This is the new normal.
When money was more plentiful, there were resources to try everything. But now, everyone is more conservative, so businesses are out there looking for the sweet spot for their audience.
Groupon is an example. A woman in the business-building course I took last spring offered her services at a fraction of their cost using that method. She got dozens of takers to try out her feng shui talents. Whether or not they ‘stuck’ as real clients at full fee was yet to be seen.
My son told me that Bonobos, a retail clothing site he loves, offers deals on twitter for limited time periods.
My sponsors for last week’s lunch talk experimented in their contract with me so that the risk was divided up amongst all of us. It paid off, and we all walked away satisfied. This is an era of experimentation, re-creation and re-defining success.
I’m still offering 1:1 coaching, Mastermind Groups, my Remarkable Women’s Network events and speaking engagements. Using the metaphor of the slot machine, these are coming up with two dollar signs and a cherry. The results of my first webinar offer created the ding-ding-ding jackpot I’d been striving for. I’ll continue to have the other pieces of my business model, but my attention will be on expanding the webinar classes in the near future.
Set-Up for Tonight's Webinar
I’m beyond excited about presenting my free webinar tonight. Those of you who’ve been following this journey–I started taking classes on how to do this whole thing back in July–have heard me whining, listened to my starts and stops and are now witnessing my transformation from student to teacher. It’s been a long haul, and I’m thrilled to have arrived at delivery at last.
Delivery is a great metaphor because this has been like a pregnancy and labor up until now. I just rehearsed one more time in preparation for tonight’s debut. I’m feeling ecstatic. That’s the natural bi-product of hard work and accomplishment, no drugs or sweets required. Just a deep feeling of satisfaction and seeing all the pieces fitting together.
I’ve got well over 150 people signed up and anticipate at least 1/2 of those people being on the call. I love my offering and the value it will bring to anyone who invests the time and attention. I’m not bragging, just wanting to show you my beautiful baby.
Also, this is the beginning of a whole new family of offers for me in my business. Can I show you the pictures?!
On a coaching call today the topic of setting limits came up, especially with children living at home. I told my client that when I began practicing Transcendental Meditation (TM) almost 20 years ago, my instructor provided me with a sign to hang on the doorknob of my bedroom where I practiced TM. It let anyone approaching know that I was busy and couldn’t be disturbed.
The first week or two I would hang the purple laminated sign on the knob and yell down to the kids, “I’m meditating now. Don’t bother me for the next half hour.” They didn’t.
I continued to hang the “I’m meditating” sign outside my door day after day. Until I realized that my kids immediately respected my wish and maintained that respect and quiet from Day 1. My shouting down to them and hanging out the sign was a reminder to me. I’m doing this. I deserve to take this time. I want you (Jane) to know that I (Jane) am doing a discipline that requires my focus. My family got it on the first try. It took me several weeks to notice that I didn’t need to repeat myself or try so hard.
On a designer house tour years ago I came upon an elaborately decorated upstairs bedroom with a 4-poster bed and canopy, a dozen attractively mismatched pillows and one very long rectangular pillow in front of the rest. It was needle-pointed with a one-word message: TONIGHT. (We asked the docent to show us the reverse side. It was also needle-pointed: NOT TONIGHT.)
When you set a limit, know that it is as much for you as for those around you.
I’m sure this finds many of you digging out from under, bailing out your basements or, like I was earlier today, searching for power and a shower. The Westport Public Library was closed. I got hopeful when I saw many folks spread out on the stone picnic tables with open laptops thinking I’d be able to soak up some external WiFi from the library’s resource, but no. They must have simply wanted to enjoy the lovely river view while pecking away at their computers.
Next I drove up to the Exit 18 Starbucks knowing that they recently installed banquette seating and lots of outlets. I could see the line into the parking lot from the traffic light and the overflow of cars at an adjacent lot letting me know that I was not the only one with the bright idea to sip coffee and plug in this morning.
I went to plan B. Get a shower at the Edge Fitness Center and then see if the lights were back on in my building. I lined up behind other women with similar intentions, got my hot shower, and was thrilled to see lights on in my apartment across the street from my gym. I can’t remember the last time I was so happy to flip a switch.
I must confess to having gotten into party mode with the hurricane fever that began as early as Friday. There was the shopping frenzy and the constant pre-storm chatter about what to expect. A neighbor hosted a hurricane party at 4pm yesterday which was so much fun.
When I returned home from that event, and since I couldn’t get online or see much in the darkness, I had to watch the DVD I’d borrowed from the library.I also power-napped my way through much of the weekend. Isn’t there something about the low pressure system that makes us sleepy, or did I make that up?
Now I’m back at my desk and have caught up with all the to-do’s from early Sunday and am back to the real work. I know that the storm wreaks havoc not only on our landscape, but my psyche had some collateral damage as well. I’ve called in the crews (my accountability partner and my business friends who meet weekly) to help restore me to work mode.
Anyone else struggling to get focused?
Into every woman business owner’s life a little rain must fall. Most of us don’t have the luxury of the office water cooler or an ally in a neighboring cubicle where a sympathetic nod or warm hug will relieve the immediate angst of a situation.We have to figure out on our own the best way to process the hurt and act like a professional. It will entail reaching out to someone else and letting them know you’re in pain, which is no small feat for the independent woman.
Yesterday, after my e-newsletter landed in inboxes, I received an email telling me I’d lost all credibility by admitting that I didn’t know who Kaylee Anthony was. Ouch! I believe everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion, but am not sure I understand the need to condemn anyone else for theirs.
In that same batch of incoming emails I received another from a dear friend and colleague congratulating me on the birth of my granddaughter. I immediately vented my upset to her, to which she responded:
“She is not your “right people!” Most of us are sighing a sigh of relief for the permission granted for self care.”
I took in her words and could feel the softening in my gut.
We each need to deal with incoming negativity on our own, and it’s painful. I’m curious what methods you use when things don’t go your way or clients are abusive. This also gave me an idea for an event which I’ll call Nightmare Clients and How to Deal with Them. Would you attend?
I invited two of my clients to let their gremlins have full rein at the beginning of our group’s call. They each had a minute to let loose, and they did a beautiful job. My purpose was to allow the negativity to have its head, and then excuse it from the premises. Coaching and gremlins don’t work well together. Those critters must be removed.
It was a very productive rant. I’ve asked my clients’ permission to share the words of their saboteurs because they are universal, even though they may sound personal to you. Here’s what they heard. Sound familiar?
- “You don’t really know what you’re doing.”
- “Why not just enjoy the summer?”
- “Do you really want to build this big a business?!”
- “That’s a lot of work.”
- “It doesn’t matter how you‘re feeling. You still have to show up for your clients.”
- “You can’t do this forever. Why bother?”
- “Who says you have to go to the next level?”
It didn’t take long to fill the allotted time, but I could tell they were running out of steam at the end. After that, I denied all entry to gremlin-esque thoughts or concerns. We had a very productive session.
In a self-help book I read long ago, it was suggested that you reserve a special time each day to spend on what’s bothering you–say 4-4:15pm every afternoon. That will serve as your dedicated gremlin/voices time, a chance to give your full attention to the matters at hand. If a voice starts grabbing your attention at 10am (“You’re an impostor!”), remind yourself to take note and consider the ‘advice’ at 4pm. You can see where this is heading. Inevitably, the flow of your work, what you’re meant to be doing takes over and you’re able to work peacefully and productively. When the appointed time comes, you may or may not decide to mentally hash out the earlier thoughts. Our 1-minute rants served a similar purpose of re-training the mind when it comes to gremlins and saboteurs.
One great transition that occurred after that initial exercise was the re-framing of one client’s thought. In order to get to the next level, this business owner felt that she would have to “expose [her]self more.” That sounded frightening to her and to me, too. After discussion and processing on the subject, this is her new language regarding the opportunity: “I consciously create important relationships in a bigger arena.” She began to feel the positive pull of that phrasing. Feels really different, doesn’t it?
So, spend time with your gremlins…on your watch, not theirs. I promise, it works.
A strategy I learned quickly and well in my early stages of entrepreneurship was that I got to choose which 8 hours a day I work. (A snarky associate suggested it was more like which 20 hours she chose to work…) As an early riser, I often have more done by 9AM than many accomplish by 2PM. Without phones ringing or a deluge of email, I’m able to laser focus and move through correspondence, writing, planning and mulling before most people hit their offices.
Going for a shiatsu treatment, as I did yesterday at 4, is a way I reward myself. While waiting for the practitioner to finish up with his previous appointment, I was able to fit in a business call while standing on his front porch overlooking a salt marsh in Fairfield. No need to explain my whereabouts or why the call needed to be brief.
A colleague of mine always says, “My office is in my pocket.”
Block in time for yourself on your calendar and treat it as an appointment, as you would with any other commitment you make. No need to share with anyone that those hours you’re booked are for a haircut. It’s nobody’s business but your own.
Self-care is a critical component of success. Deprivation is the bane of many business owner’s existence. My recommendation is to schedule in your personal needs along with your business needs and show up for both with equal enthusiasm and respect.
I had the privilege of speaking for the Litchfield County Women’s Network last Wednesday night, one of those pouring rainy nights we seem to have had so many of lately. I was a tad grumpy coming in after a long drive, but the mood of the room and the warmth of the members soon parted the clouds in my brain.
Although her business is graphic design, President Chana Monahan is a Toastmasters-trained powerhouse, leading her network through dinner and the best self-introductory ice-breaker I’ve seen. As part of each woman’s 60-second ‘hello,’ we were asked to identify a significant historic moment from our childhood in addition to announcing who we were and what we did in our businesses. I heard everything from the arrival of the Beatles to Kennedy’s assassination to the invention and acquisition of Cabbage Patch Kids. The mood was light, congenial and more revealing than any sound bites on self-proclaimed business acumen. My recalling the world-changing invention of Ford’s Model T got some interesting looks. (I used to be the youngest in the room–What happened?)
After dinner I gave my talk on having A Million Dollar Presence on a Zero Dollar Budget, which I subtitle, How I Got on the Today Show. It was followed by a lively Q+A and discussion. During my book signing I met many of the women, packed up and drove home in more rain.
Not two days later I received a personal, handwritten note from Chana thanking me for my contribution to her group. My talk was pro bono – I do one per quarter – so Chana was expressing her deep appreciation for my time. Enclosed was a $100 Shell gas gift card. What a brilliant gift! In this day and age, if you drive a car, the escalating cost of fueling it has become a major consideration. This was the perfect gesture and will be gratefully used, with Chana and LCBW in mind, when I fill my tank (at least once!).
