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I met with a couple of women yesterday to compare notes on how we’re using social media. It’s a forum for discussing challenges and raising questions, plus some show and tell. It was only the second session for this evolving group; the format hasn’t standardized yet. In fact, instead of the six women who attended the first session, we were a more intimate group of three.
It turned into more of an updating our business/life status kind of session, which was deeply beneficial and rewarding in a whole different kind of social networking way. We hadn’t established a time frame for the gathering, so when one member brought up a question regarding twitter after the personal conversation had waned, I noticed it was getting late and excused myself. “You two are so much further along in this area. Why don’t you talk to each other, and I’ll take off?” I hugged them each good-bye and left the room.
Twenty minutes later the woman who had the twitter question called me to say her feelings had been hurt, that her question wasn’t regarded with import, and it felt bad. I heard what she said and explained. I told her, “I feel so inadequate when it comes to twitter that I thought I’d get in the way of your higher level discussion and understanding. I felt like the seniors were going to have a meaningful conversation and that I, as the freshman, should just leave.”
Because she took the risk of being vulnerable and letting me know what happened in her mind, there were three outcomes.
- We both more deeply appreciate each others’ sensitivities.
- We feel more bonded and trusting of each other.
- We see the need to establish a time frame around the group so everyone knows when it will begin and end.
I just love this woman, and am so grateful to her for not carrying around a resentment that would have been based on assuming that I was dismissing her.
Who do you need to tell a truth to today?
I have three vision boards on my wall, one of which focuses on lifestyle desires I have. There are images of aqua-blue lap pools, vineyards and women in varying degrees of joy. There are also a few pictures of women assuming yoga postures, like the one above.
Yoga has always been on my list of things I should do. I like the way yoginis carry themselves. They have beautiful posture and long, slim torsos. There’s an assuredness that seems to emanate from people who have formed the union of body and soul that I want to have. So I cut out this image that called to me and have been staring at it for a number of years now. I’ve dabbled in classes at Symmetry Yoga and The Edge, but didn’t really commit. More recently, I’ve been doing a 15-minute A.M. practice to a Rodney Yee DVD. I’m feeling the benefits and noticing that my body wants to do it, even though unrolling a cold yoga mat at 6A.M. isn’t always the most inviting activity on my list.
A funny thing happened, as it does with vision boards. I’ve been seeing a new shiatsu practitioner since my beloved Pauline Sasaki became ill and passed away. David Sergel–his tag line is People Follow Earth, which I love–has become my healer. He noticed a particular tightness in my back and suggested I do a specific yoga posture, the plow. “What’s that?” I asked.
“Here, I’ll show you.” See photo below. I’ve now added this posture to my morning practice. Have you noticed me standing any taller yet?
Hilary Bunger.
As I was taking a long walk this morning, I was reminiscing a distant past Thanksgiving morning and an early trip to Stew Leonard’s where I had ventured to pick up a needed grocery item. Half of Fairfield County used go to Stew’s on that holiday Thursday morning, long before Costco and Whole Foods arrived on the scene. Typically, it was a reunion of faces, memories and nods of recognition. The one I’m thinking of was in the mid 80′s and was actually the last time I saw Hilary alive.
Some years before, as I was working on details for packaging my eggs more elegantly, I was eagerly thumbing through The Black Book which was–pre-Internet–how one might find successful graphic designers, illustrators and packaging experts. When I came across the ad for Hilary Bunger Package Design I got that good-nervous intuitive sensation in my body. Yes! A woman will understand what I’m trying to do and maybe even lend a helping hand to a young artist trying to get noticed in The Big World.
I took a risk. I called the company line and asked to speak to Hilary. “What is this in reference to?” I was asked. I explained that I was making a career out of decorating eggs in the Ukrainian tradition and had run into a design issue around the packaging of these art objects. Before I ever learned how to use a Dremel tool to make perfect holes in the shells, through which I extracted the insides, I used a straight pin to pierce the shell and then painstakingly increased its size until I could blow it out. I was looking for a way to cover the unsightly hole that was left. I needed a solution, and preferably an attractive one. I was hoping that Ms. Bunger might share some ideas with me.
“You may be in luck,” said the voice which belonged to a son of Hilary Bunger. “My father happens to love Ukrainian Easter eggs and may be able to help you. Can you come by today at 1pm? He’s got an opening on his calendar then.”
Long story short, Mr. Hilary Bunger generously designed a gold label with my signature on it which ideally covered that pesky hole in the egg elegantly and efficiently. I don’t even remember if I paid him in eggs or if he even accepted anything but my thanks. What I do remember and what brought me to a big smile this morning, was the generosity of spirit that he extended to me that day. For the few years afterwards that we knew each other he watched my progress with joy.
Seeing that familiar face at Stew’s nearly 30 years ago popped into my mind and reminded me of what this life is all about. I could never pay Hilary Bunger for all he gave me. But, I hope that his power of example continues to inform how I give back today and always.
My client’s subject line in her email to me was–You won’t believe it! But she was wrong. After listening to Earl Nightingale’s gold-record-winning tape called The Strangest Secret many years ago, I’ve become a believer. I’m never surprised when I hear that what you’ve put out into the Universe comes back to you.
First there was this client’s email above. I had asked her if teaching art was something she had considered as an alternate income stream. As she put it, “If the opportunity fell into my lap…” she would take it. Not 24 hours later she sent me the message that she had received a call from someone wanting oil painting classes.
I’ve mentioned that I’m taking Rebecca Morgan’s webinar called Making Money in Your Jammies. A long-time friend and colleague is also taking the sessions. She told me in a phone conversation yesterday after our class that she’d been wanting to figure out a way to re-purpose her articles and blog postings. She had made the decision to enroll in some class situation, came home from being out a couple of weeks ago and saw my blogpost about Rebecca’s class. She immediately signed up.
Another client of mine had been seeking a photography adventure. I asked her what the ultimate adventure would look like. She named her favorite periodical, the one she would think she died and went to heaven if she could ever be associated with. I suggested she do some research and find out how to submit to that magazine. Lo and behold, in her online meanderings, she found a photography expedition being offered by them. It was exactly the opportunity she had envisioned.
Where you put your mental, emotional and spiritual energy will influence what shows up for you in life every day. Say out loud, to yourself or someone you trust, what you really want. You can do this annually or daily. The work is coming up with what excites and energizes you and having the courage to speak it.
Although it takes an hour for Earl Nightingale to reveal the Strangest Secret, I’ll shortcut it for you. The strangest secret is also The Secret, based on the Law of Attraction: we become what we think about. Your mind is so powerful that when you get a clear picture of what it is that you want (or don’t want–so be verrry careful), you will attract exactly that into your life. Verbalizing it, writing it down, and holding it in your consciousness is what helps bring it into reality.
Do you have any examples of this you’d like to share?
When Meredith Gray (not that Meredith Gray) received a diagnosis that she had breast cancer for the second time, rather than dive under the covers to hide, she mobilized into action to deal with her illness. She documented her process and progress in a brand new film entitled NAKED. On Wednesday night I had the extreme privilege of hosting an Artsy Girls viewing of Meredith’s documentary.
I had been a witness to parts of Meredith’s experience as a friend and colleague, but nothing compared to seeing her journey from beginning to the present exquisitely filmed by Lisa Simmons of Fingerpost Productions.
We see Meredith interviewing numerous physicians regarding her options for surgery and reconstruction. We watch her being poked with needles in hospital rooms, and another day modeling for art students at the Silvermine Guild Arts Center as a way of preserving her breasts through their paintings.
Over and over what struck me and the women in the audience was Meredith’s courage, determination and strength of character. She took on insurance companies, dealt with pain and even coped with her dog’s medical needs, which didn’t take a hiatus just because she was ill, in between chemo treatments.
Meredith emerges from it all victorious and vibrantly healthy. I highly recommend this film to every woman out there, whether she’s been diagnosed, knows someone who has, or simply wants to be in control of her healthy future.
To purchase your own copy of Meredith’s film, click here.
At the age of 11 Li Cunxin was plucked from his remote village in China to be groomed for the Beijing Dance Academy. As the 7th son in a family with minimal education and no worldly exposure, Li had no aspirations to study ballet. But after enduring grueling 16-hour days of practice and training, he viewed a videotape of Baryshnikov performing and was transformed. Although ballet had never been on his radar, once he was exposed to a transcendent vision, everything changed for him–at least in the cinematic version of his life entitled Mao’s Last Dancer.
From that moment on he did everything he could to fly like Mikhail. This included weighing down his legs with heavy sandbags attached and leaping up a flight of stairs 2-3 at a time with his hands tied behind his back. That heroic effort of forcing himself to endure tremendous pain and strain was the image that stayed with me after seeing the film last weekend. Once the sandbags were removed, thrusting his entire body into the air would feel effortless, but he had to practice day after day to get those muscles strengthened.
When I read biographies of famous people whom I admire, I get to see what they have gone through in order to achieve greatness in their lives. The sandbags for me are believing enough in myself and my message to put it out multiple times. I know I’m not alone in feeling reticent about overexposure and spamming. But the successful people I see are constantly putting themselves in the public eye in order to be seen and heard. I tell my clients all the time, one postcard mailing is not enough.
I believe that the new edition of my book Soul Proprietor: 101 Lessons from a Lifestyle Entrepreneur will help seasoned and aspiring business owners alike. I encourage you to read a copy, buy one for a friend if you’re a fan and spread the word as to how it’s been beneficial to you.
A lot of people talk about wanting to move to Hawaii, but for most of them, it’s simply a fantasy. When Kathryn Ryan first expressed that desire, I have to say, I thought she might be just another New Englander seeking to escape the cold and icy winters of our corner of the world. But I grossly underestimated this woman’s seriousness of purpose. On Monday night I had a conversation with Kathryn by phone accommodating the 5 hour time distance between Connecticut and Maui.
I got to know Kathryn a few years ago as an energy healer and client. She was looking to grow her practice when we first started working together. The desire to live near the water in a tropical climate came up early in one of our coaching conversations. It was a strong vision for her throughout our sessions. I was supportive of her desire and very happy to hear her story of success. It strongly follows the principles of creating visions and taking the action steps to make them happen.
In brief, Kathryn had an uncle in Hawaii who offered her temporary quarters while she tried out the Big Island. She knew she wasn’t going to immediately start her own business, so went for interviews as a massage therapist to earn income during her transition. She actually had to fly in a small plane to Maui for one of those job interviews. “If I’m meant to move to Maui, I want to see a whale,” she bargained with the Universe. The interview was only so-so, but she caught eyes with a man on the beach while on that island and exclaimed, “Did you see that whale?” shortly after one surfaced near the shore. Maui it was! That job didn’t pan out, but another did. Kathryn is supporting herself, living a block from the ocean and is in love. She also was happy to report that she’d those 25 pounds she’d been hanging on to before allowing herself her vision.
Kathryn took the risk of leaving her home of over 30 years with two suitcases and her massage table. She followed every lead that came her way and trusted her gut that this desire for a warmer climate and slower pace would bring fulfillment. In March 2011 it will be two years since she made that decision. By her own admission, she’s never been happier.
Dr. Debbie Danowski, a professor at Sacred Heart University, is a friend of mine and also a former client. We were in a writers group for several years and have stayed connected since. Over a year ago Debbie wanted to work with me on her vision for her dream house. She had found this poster image which, she said, captured exactly what she was looking for–a log cabin on a large country property with a water view. My business is all about helping people reach their visions.
So, it was not a surprise when I got a call from Debbie saying, “I did it!”
Last Sunday I went to visit Debbie in her dream house–a log cabin on a large country property on the side of a large pond. Debbie had followed the recommended course of action which includes looking at your vision daily and taking action steps along the way. She did it all herself, and it was an arduous journey. But, sitting on the front porch and looking out on a divine summer afternoon made it all worth it. There were plenty of glitches along the way–there always are–but, Debbie’s perseverance, powerful vision and hard work turned her dream into her reality.
Back-to-back coaching calls with similar themes give me ideas for my blog. Yesterday two of my creative clients reported in with extraordinary success stories.
A designer client began apologetically, saying she hadn’t completed her fieldwork assignments, but that she had booked $15,000 in business that week. She was about to rush into her reasons for not making her first Toastmasters speech. But, I stopped the conversation right there to celebrate her enormous victory.
“This is the universe showing you that you can support yourself with work you’re passionate about,” I reminded her. She knows this, but because there are no labels like ‘end-of-year-bonus’ or ‘promotion’ attached to these occurrences, they’re harder to identify.
Another client who is a successful illustrator targeted getting her MFA, creating a body of work and extreme self-care as her goals in our work together. She had just returned from a two-week intensive program that marked the beginning of her studies. Her husband is taking a work opportunity on the West Coast leaving her on this side of the country to completely focus on her art. Again, because these coincidences don’t come labeled, it was important to articulate exactly what was happening in her life. The planets had lined up to allow her to have precisely the time and space she requires to accomplish her goals.
Often, it’s only in looking back that we can see how these events pave the way to our future. Sharing what’s going on with another mortal, be it a coach or colleague, is an excellent way to validate what is happening for you. It’s easy to miss the signposts. And the gremlins are never far behind saying, “Yeah, but…”
Wishing you a success-filled and gremlin-free day!
On December 13, 1997 this egg I was commissioned to create was presented to concert pianist Adlan Cruz at the Klein Memorial Auditorium in Bridgeport, CT. The event was a fund-raiser for BCHC, an acronym I can no longer identify. I’m sure I heard some buzz after the event, but have long forgotten about it. It’s 13 years and a couple of careers ago.
Then, this morning in my inbox, I received 4 emails from the recipient, Adlan Cruz, who recently found the piece of paper with my name on it and came looking for me. He sent enlarged images of my design from every angle. But it was his message that touched my heart:
My name is Adlan Cruz, a concert pianist now on a World tour visiting 15 countries. In 1997 I offered a concert at the Klein Memorial Auditorium, Bridgeport, CT for a cause. At the end of the concert I was presented with one of your creations, which was a big surprise to me. To this date, that is one of the most memorable gifts I have ever received. I have it in a very special place where my collectibles are displayed ( my first toy piano, collectibles from Holly Land and such) .
He asked if I would call him, which I did. Before I called, I watched some of his clips on youtube to get a better understanding of this gift recipient. I watched some footage of him playing, was duly impressed, then dialed his number.
I asked him what Holly Land was. I thought it might be something like Dolly Parton’s theme park, but realized that was Dollywood, not Dolly Land! Adlan laughed explaining his typo. He had actually received another egg created for him in the Holy (not Holly) Land. I was doubly honored.
Besides sharing this joy with you, I wanted to emphasize two things. It’s never too late to show appreciation. This email correspondence lifted my mood to joy at 6am. And, your wonderful work has ripples rippling right now that you may not even find out for 13 more years.
