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You don’t have to be a college student or grad to benefit from the advice in this revised edition of Lindsey’s book. Lindsey, for those of you who don’t know, is my daughter.
She used to come to me for career advice, but the tables have turned. She’s my go-to person for all things electronic and social media related when it comes to business. When I was considering linking sites with a particular organization recently, and I sought her wisdom, I told her I wasn’t sure I understood exactly what was required of me or what the benefits would be. But it sounded kind of good from the pitch I received. “Mom, if you don’t understand it and aren’t highly motivated to participate, say no.” I followed that advice with no regrets.
Please, buy a copy of her book for yourself or someone you love who’s looking for work. She’s a trustworthy guide and will be truly grateful for your purchase.
At last night’s mastermind group, during the first round of sharing successes, photographer Katie Settel took her turn with pride and delight. Her goal had been to photograph Beyonce’s new baby. We all supported the dream she had laid out in session 1 (this was our 5th) and have witnessed her transformation as Katie developed her marketing materials in that pursuit.
At our third session, Katie arrived with an elegantly designed package of her photographs, which demonstrate her talent, plus her freshly written cover letter…and a huge smile. She had put together an exquisite pitch package which she sent to Beyonce’s agent in NYC. Even getting that far was a win. Katie also designed the concept of a photo shoot with purpose (i.e. not winning a million dollar contract from People, say) which she proposed as a differentiator from all the other photographers in pursuit of that opportunity.
The baby has been born. I haven’t found any photos on the internet yet (correct me if I’m wrong), but as Katie put it last night when giving her report, “I didn’t get the shot, but I gave it a shot.”
While not everyone would claim not getting the sought after opportunity as a success, I surely do. How many people scheme and dream and don’t even take the first step in the direction of their own success? Katie moved several paces in that direction by not only following through on her own vision, but also by ratcheting up her skills, materials and courage level by giving it a go.
Success is the journey toward a worthy goal, so chalk up miles of advancement for Katie’s career.
You’re probably thinking, what does this subject line have to do with entrepreneurship? But, the essence of this question arose yesterday when I received an email from one of my webinar participants inquiring why I’d combined my two groups in one private Facebook page. That is, the ones who’ve been in the program for 5 sessions with the newer students who are only up to Session 2.
In 1997, while attending my first ever NSA annual meeting in California, I attended a workshop where the speaker talked about his career development in terms I’d never heard. He knew that he was using high level language and explained, unapologetically, that his job as a motivational (and I use that term thoughtfully) speaker was “to keep the Toastmasters running after the caravan.”
That image became seared in my mind. Here were the paid professionals holding forth and allowing us newbies to press our faces up to the glass, to mix metaphors, and see what being a pro looked like. It felt aspirational. These NSA’ers had what I wanted, and by joining them and attending their meetings, I was going to learn what they knew.
It had me breathless in anticipation and effort to keep up with and master the arenas they were all playing in. I loved that I got to rub shoulders, listen in and ask questions of the pros. I’d much rather play in a tennis game with someone better than I am than someone not as good. Don’t we all want to up our game?
So it is with intention that I combined the two groups who are participating in my webinar. One group has had four more sessions than the other, are deeply engaged in comparing notes, sharing successes, products and resources with each other. It may be a stretch for those who are newer, but my objective is that it become an invitation as well as a temptation to grow and join the conversation.
I had the honor of opening the 2012 season for the National Kitchen and Bath Association’s meeting this week with my talk on Creating Your Own Future. It’s a goal-setting session with lots of interactivity. After asking participants to dream big, I had them break down their dream into a manageable next step. Then I asked for volunteers to share what they’d written.
Debbie Blumencranz of Kitchens By Deane raised her hand to share her deep desire to pass the NCIDQ exam which would change her status to ASID - American Society of Interior Designers. She’s currently an Allied member and wants that elite distinction on her business card.
I asked if anyone in the audience had achieved that hard-won designation. Two rows in front of Debbie a hand went up. Terry Scarborough turned her chair around, faced Debbie and offered to give her some tips on taking the exam.
At the same moment, the two of them burst out laughing. I asked what was so funny. “Terry sits next to me at the office. I never knew she had that designation.”
Terry said, “I had no idea Debbie was studying for the exam.”
It was a precious moment, and the rest of the crowd had their mouths hanging open (figuratively). In my experience leading goal-setting workshops, this happens all the time. We think that our hopes and dreams are totally unique and that not one other soul could possibly comprehend how precious this thing is to us. Then, when we put it out there, the Universe provides willing helpers to guide our way.
Here’s a challenge for you this January: Share a goal or longing with someone you know and trust and notice what happens. Please share the results with me.
I met with a group of women business owners recently, where one participant whom I know and adore, shared a challenge about how crazy-busy she is. She felt frantic and incapable of prioritizing. The proverbial fires were all burning equally in her arena. Taking time to deal with one over here could cause a huge conflagration over there.
I could feel my stomach begin to get knotted up.
And then I realized that I didn’t have to fix this for her, nor do I believe she desired a solution. She wanted to vent, to be acknowledged, understood and appreciated. Don’t we all?
I asked her permission to share an observation, which she welcomed. “I’ve known you a good 20 years, Barbie (not her real name).”
She immediately interjected, “And I’ve been complaining about this issue all along, haven’t I?”
I nodded. “What I get about you is that this is how you thrive. You’ve been wildly successful in this competitive and male-dominated industry you’re in. You’ve always made your deadlines, and you actually seem to thrive on the chaos of it. Why not re-frame your attitude about the situation and enjoy the ride? Instead of beating yourself up for not being better organized, how about some new and different self-talk? Try saying, ‘I’m really good at dealing with a million balls in the air. I always pull off these presentations. All nighters are the price of admission in this field. And I love it!’”
I wasn’t sure what kind of reaction I would get from that piece of truth-telling and coaching, but Barbie’s face went from drawn to relieved. She felt heard and understood and didn’t have to change a thing about her work method, except her attitude about it.
When I emailed her this morning to ask her permission to share the incident, this was her reply:
You certainly may blog about it!! I can’t tell you how great it was to hear your words!!
Someone asked me today if there’d been a full moon (it was full, huge and beautiful last night), because the atmosphere felt fraught with unpleasantness. I knew what she meant. I’ve been experiencing some push-back and hearing tales from others that it’s choppy waters out there. Whether it’s the turn of the calendar page, the back-biting among our nation’s candidates or holiday hangover, something’s in the air.
What’s a woman business owner to do?
What has gotten me through over the years is positive self-talk and mantras that affirm that this is normal and to be expected. Rosabeth Moss Kanter, from the Harvard Business School, says that her ‘personal law of management, if not life, is that everything looks like a disaster in the middle.’
I also love the saying that the higher up the mountain you go, the harder the wind blows.
And that mastery is less about your skill set than your recovery time.
I’ve had a few confrontations already this year and have faced them square on. I don’t always like the outcome, but the issues are dealt with and done, which beats dragging garbage bags full of resentments with me wherever I go. My side of the street is clean. Not everyone may like what I do, but I’m comfortable with the decisions I’ve made.
What has helped me most is a reliable source of support. I’ve created many safe havens for myself in my years as a business owner. Interestingly, and this must be why this is popping up right now, my next webinar module (after this week’s on Communicating Your Message) is entitled Establishing Support Systems for your business. I have individuals to call upon, my own coach, my own mastermind team, and weekly groups where I go and share my current issues and receive supportive feedback. I know that I’m not alone, and a burden shared is a burden halved.
My favorite mantra of all, which someone reminded me about just today, is “Don’t quit before the miracle.” You’re not alone.
Since my 2011 business year ended nicely in the black, I worked hard in December to invest some of my earnings back into my company by enrolling in courses for the upcoming year.
One of my business gurus, Brian Tracy, uses the figure 5% of income as the target number of dollars to spend on education. If you grossed $100,000 spending $5K on education would be prudent, for example.
With a decent budget to work from I thought about where I’d like to study and with whom. I considered trade shows, conferences, courses and cruises as I began planning for the upcoming year. I’d also recently heard from three different colleagues about a program offered at Harvard called Immunity to Change. Those kinds of signs have reliably pointed me in the direction of my vision. I’ve enrolled in that three-day course in Cambridge, a week-long holistic cruise where I’ll be able to study lifestyle practices and network with practitioners in March, and a few other well-timed, choice learning experiences to expand my knowledge and community.
I’m also offering others a way to expand their business skills in 2012. My webinar Soul Proprietor’s Formula for Building Your Business has been a great success. The 20+ women currently enrolled are taking strides in their businesses, meeting other remarkable women through our private Facebook group and actively pursuing their visions. A new session is beginning next Monday, January 9 at noon. I’ve got a very special offer (scroll down for the great pricing) on right now for those who enroll by midnight January 6.
One of the best features of webinars in general is that you don’t have to be physically present to receive the information. All of my sessions are recorded along with the visual materials that accompany the talks. You get to learn at your own pace, according to your own calendar and style. Even the twice-weekly question and answer sessions will be recorded so you won’t miss a word of advice.
I invite you to join me this year and start investing in your own learning. Who knows? With my help, next year’s education budget can exceed your wildest dreams.
I’m back! The most significant takeaway from my wonderful trip to Mexico and California was that for the entire week at Rancho La Puerta I was fully present and never thought about home, work, responsibilities, finances, 2012 or anything other than what I was currently engaged in at the moment.
I just said to a friend in conversation that it was like a really good night’s sleep with amazing dreams that are now positive deposits in my energy and happiness bank accounts.
The Ranch, as it is called by repeat visitors, is exquisitely landscaped. It is impossible to see too far down any road because of the twists and turns, high hedges and dense foliage. Truthfully, I kept getting lost because there were no visible landmarks to center me. I found out late in the week that the layout of the 3000+ acres was intentionally created to prevent left-brain thinking (which is the linear side?). Anwyay, it worked.
I delivered my two talks there and successfully and motivated several participants to live into their dreams, particularly around performing. I love that look of terror and delight when I encourage an audience member, for instance, to call the caberet she wants to perform at by January 5.
I’m also happy to be back. I love the life I’ve created for myself which includes working with amazing women entrepreneurs, having time for self-care, and especially time for my friends and family.
I’m taking the afternoon off to see Hugh Jackman on Broadway with my daughter Lindsey knowing that I’ll spend tomorrow afternoon in the library completing another module of my webinar program. I’m so grateful for the flexibility of creating my own schedule and the generosity of my employer.
Happy New Year to you all!
I know. I can hear you all thanking me for being your role model for extreme self-care. I told my coach the other day that I feel like I’m in the Olympics of self-care these days.
I leave bright and early tomorrow morning for a week at a resort. I do have some responsibility while I’m there–giving two talks. But, mostly I’ll be R&R’ing. I plan to hike, take aqua-fit classes, meditate and do yoga. All of my meals will be prepared with food from their organic gardens. No beds to make, no decisions to make either, other than hot stone massage or herbal wrap.
The resort is Rancho La Puerta. Watch the incredible history-movie.html about its origins. I was so inspired by the owner’s story. It’s now a high-end spa, but when she and her husband began it 40 years ago, you brought your own tent and it cost $17.50 a week.
My outgoing messages say that I am out of the country and will not be returning calls until December 28. I plan to turn off all electronics and totally relax and recharge for 2012. No blogs or newsletters until early January either.
I hope you’ll take designated time for yourself during this hectic season to use however you choose, whether it’s an hour, a day or more. If you happen to be taking my webinar and read this, you get extra credit for letting me know what you did for YOU.
One of the things I love about getting my news now via the Times Reader is that, unlike when I read the paper edition, I’m able to immediately click on the links that are highlighted.
Reading an inside scoop about the director of the hit movie “The Help”–Tate Taylor–I did just that. I clicked on the blue lettered hyperlink in the sentence that said “the director Chris Columbus, a producer of “The Help,” was eventually dispatched to be a full-time on-set babysitter.” How diminishing must that have felt? To be directing your first feature film and having someone watching over your shoulder the whole time. I wanted to know more.
The link sent me to an article from the Wall Street Journal entitled “How An Author’s Best Friend Turned ‘The Help’ Into a Movie.” Getting juicier. I’ll let you read the whole piece, but what really made me happy–having seen the movie and knowing that it was a huge hit–was Taylor’s “biggest takeaway from the whole experience”:
What’s meant the most to me in this whole process is that people I don’t know sending me letters and emails saying “I was about to quit the business. It’s changed so much. It’s so jaded. It’s so economically driven. The art has been lost. And I heard what happened with you and your friends and Kathryn and DreamWorks…and I am refueled.”
Our personal struggles and triumphs serve as a power of example to all those watching. I take great heart from this story of how two friends (kind of like Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney) got together and put on a show. They overcame enormous challenges and were generous enough to share their story. Does that make you feel just a tad better about what you’re struggling with today?
