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I am overwhelmed by the response to my request for feedback on my headshot. The request to you came out of a coaching session where I was encouraged to allow myself to be the center of attention–a place that does not come easily or naturally to me.
I love the idea of being fully comfortable in the spotlight and have challenged myself repeatedly to stand in that place and allow myself to revel in the attention. My coach asked me what would help me to remain present for those good feelings. “Breathing always helps,” I answered, knowing full well that I often forget this and don’t inhale.
While going through my coaching certification process years ago my supervisor asked me a similar question. “How can you remind yourself to be fully present with your clients?” Again, the answer was to take a deep breath to get centered in my own body. That breath would give a moment to connect with the soul who was dialing my number for my services.
I devised a structure that would serve as a constant reminder of this easily forgotten necessity in my life and practice. I wrote the word BREATHE where I would easily see it every time. Not a coincidence that this reminder to take a breath when seeking connection was written on the receiver of my phone.
Kate Eisemann recently shot dozens of images of me for a new headshot. I was still enamored of the one she did three years ago, but based on some feedback from an unbiased third party, I decided it was time to step out as a glasses-wearing woman business owner who also happens to be three years older–not that it shows…
I would love your opinion on the narrowed down selection of shots Kate took. She generously provided me with four re-touched options for consideration. Will you vote on your favorite via the comments section?
The winner will be the one that goes onto my website and all my marketing materials for the next several years. No pressure!
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After a full day of assisting a coach training program I hopped the subway to my hotel, made a quick wardrobe change and took another subway to NYU where I was hosting a table for Women In Communications (WICI) at their Night of the Coaches. This was a brilliantly conceived event where coaches were showcased to members and guests of WICI.
The format was roundtable discussions (10 altogether) facilitated by coaches on subjects ranging from Crafting a Rock Star Pitch for Cover Letter and Interviews, to Negotiating in a Tough Economy and Building Your Freelance Career (my table). There were 10 women at each table, plus the coach and about 45 minutes to tackle the subject. I shared several tools and strategies for building a freelance business and opened the discussion to those in attendance.
“Show, don’t tell” has become a favorite phrase for me. I can talk till I’m blue in the face about the value of coaching and get continuous blank stares. But, last night, when I paused the group as one participant lit about about copy editing, they all witnessed what happens when you are truly in your passion. This woman had asked about getting started doing freelance writing work. When I asked a question about what she liked about writing, she said, “I love helping my friends write essays for applications and making sure they’re letter-perfect [I'm paraphrasing.].” I suggested that she trust that pleasure and hang out her shingle, for now, in that capacity. “Trust that doing that will lead you to your next opportunity.”
At my very first craft show, exhibiting my decorated eggs, a woman from Bloomingdale’s approached me–because I was there–and invited me to conduct a demonstration and workshop at the store. When you show up with your passion and make yourself available to opportunity, it comes knocking. Your job is to take action.
I arrived in Dublin before 7am (2am EDT) yesterday, grabbed a cab and arrived at Linda’s doorstep before 8am. After a quick tour of her magnificent apartment and a short welcoming chat, I went right to sleep.
When I got up, it was bright and sunny–not typical Irish weather–and we walked for miles around the city.
Our conversations, after discussing her adjustment to living abroad, were about our families and then our businesses. Linda has always been a role model for me as well as a sounding board since we met in the late 70’s. We talked at length about where we were going in our companies and offered perspectives to each other. We each took into account the economy and technology and how to operate and thrive within those parameters.
John joined us for dinner where we reminisced about the old days. I used to stay at their house in Guilford while exhibiting my work at the handcrafts fair there each summer. I admired their values then and I admire them still.
Thirty-five women filled Artifact Design Gallery Wednesday night–my 3rd Remarkable Women Networking event. The place was abuzz with the energy and enthusiasm of these amazing women. Photo – Owner Elizabeth Clark (right) above with ASID-CT Past President and remarkable woman Terry Scarborough both in attendance.
The recipe for success is simple and straightforward.
- I open the event to my database
- Find a woman-owned business location
- Provide light food and beverages
- Keep a tightly focused agenda for strategic networking.
Each person has the opportunity to introduce herself to the group as a whole. We then break up into smaller groups for ’speed networking.’ After each of the women in those groups has had her time to share and get feedback, we rotate groups. By the end of the night, every attendee has interacted on a personal level with at least six other women.
I came home that night thoroughly exhausted. I was so tired that I canceled plans for an early morning beach walk thinking I’d never get up. Without the aid of my alarm clock, I naturally woke up before 5AM and was filled with excitement and energy.
Paradoxically, the more energy I use doing what I love, the more energy is restored to me. Help me out on who said this (I’m thinking Maya Angelou, but couldn’t find the quote on google)–I want God to use me up. I am so clear that my purpose here on earth is to empower women, particularly women who are following their passions. I am serving that cause with every fiber of my being. While I may get tired (standing on line at Stew Leonard’s to pick up the catering order and schlepping bottles of Pellegrino from my car to Artifact), I am fully restored by the rewards of this work.
When Meredith signed up for my Transformations through Transitions group this spring her goal was to bring her breast cancer story to the public’s attention.
She talked about creating an advisory board–more like a support posse–which stimulated Meredith’s drive to get help and share the journey. But the bigger challenge, the one she really wanted to be held accountable for, was to create a trailer for the documentary she’s having filmed throughout her experience.
Since I teach people how to set realistic goals, Meredith knew she was stretching the limits considering that she was still showing up at commercial photography shoots to do her styling work, plus continuing with her chemo treatments which are a job in themselves. Was it really realistic to also edit down the hours and hours of video footage to create this marketing tool?
Meredith walked into our session last Thursday on fire. She had the trailer completed! She showed it to our group. Watch it! It’s amazing! Not only that, Meredith has speaking engagements lined up, too, and networking events where she can meet others interested in publicizing this disease.
In addition, Meredith is putting out requests for others help and support. I offered to assist her in that endeavor. Here’s what you can do:
- Meredith will be speaking at a Relay for Life in Westport, CT on Friday, June 26.
- Watch the trailer. Click any of the highlighted trailer links in this post.
- Pass the trailer onto any and all interested parties.
- Send your healing prayers and thoughts to Meredith on June 18 when she will be undergoing her final chemo treatment. For three days after she experiences such toxicity in her body that she is only able to lie in the fetal position, closely watched by her favorite animals, and allows time to pass.
Two magnificent women business owners were featured at EWN’s Grand Networking Event on Monday night, and I was lucky enough to be among the 150+ women who got to hear them.
Carolyn, best known as Donald Trump’s right-hand woman from The Apprentice, spoke during the private cocktail hour. She’s launching her own entrepreneurial enterprise and shared her revelation as to how challenging it is to be in business for yourself, even with her background and credentials.
Of course she also shared juicy tidbits about working with The Donald, but was gracious enough to pretend (wink-wink) that it was the first time anyone had asked that question. No surprises. Just that she likes her Blackberry much more now that she’s her own boss.
Kelly Flatley is the founder and creator of Bear Naked, the granola company that was sold to Kellogg 18 months ago for $23+ million dollars. Kelly is 30. Her story is inspiring, generous and humble. I love what she stands for and what she’s created. She spoke between courses and had the roomful of women business owners enthralled with the simplicity of her message and key points.
What were my take-aways from the night?
- Carolyn saying entrepeneurship was HARD. It is, and it’s nice to hear someone with celebrity status acknowledging that.
- Kelly talked about picking the culture you want to create. She said she wanted to greet people at her company with high five’s rather than handshakes. It reminds me that my culture embraces authenticity and passion, not seven figures and stress.
- Being with the energy of all these great women carries me for days.
- I’m in good company.
I’d love to hear what other attendees thought.
While I was in Charleston over the weekend I wandered into an inviting shop called Worthwhile. There was a beautifully detailed white cotton shirtwaist in the window that caught my eye and drew me in. I suspected the price tag would be pretty detailed too. I was right. It was $429.
I told the salesgirl how charmed I was by the dress. “Oh, that piece is designed by Gary Graham. We have several more pieces by him in the back.”
Piece. As opposed to dress. Somehow it elevated it. I was no longer looking at clothing. I was viewing art. It altered the experience. I was drawn in, as to a museum show. I couldn’t get it out of my head, although the pricing and small-size-only availability cured that urge.
The takeaway from this incident was the brilliance and simplicity of a trained sales staff and quality copywriting. A writer had developed the formidable skill of turning something that goes on your back into an experience for the shopper. Part of the overhead of a designer like Graham is paying for that service. No wonder the “piece” was so expensive.
Wherever I go, there I am.
Taking the Charms of Charleston tour I was all ears to hear about this beautiful southern city. We’re down here for the wedding of our friends’ daughter. While my husband played golf with the bride’s father on Friday, I took the morning to scout the town as a tourist.
My guide, Bubba (really!), spoke non-stop about the uniqueness of his hometown. What I noticed most of all was that so many of the facts he told us about Charleston were preceded by the phrase, “Charleston is unique because…” or “The first ___ happened here in Charleston.” “We’re the only city that…” and “Charleston is most famous for …” Not only did he exude pride about his place of birth, but he also got my undivided attention. The facts were compelling and gave the tour a richness and meaning that made me want to share it with others.
- Do you know what it meant if the door to your South Carolina ’single’ was left open?
- Do you know the difference between a graveyard and a cemetery?
- Do you know why each house on the East Battery is angled to the road?
This got me thinking about the amazing number of USP’s Charleston has. A USP is a Unique Selling Proposition–a term I learned in my early days as a business owner: what make you/your company different? What compelling fact will have your prospects flocking to you? What will cause your customers to not only buy your products/services but also tell your story to their friends and colleagues?
The main USP’s I used to hear repeated about me were that my eggs were selected by the White House and that I was on the Today Show. They’re different today (please share what you’ve heard makes me different/unique).
What are yours? Use them often when describing what you do. If you can do from a horse-drawn carriage, all the better!
My daughter and I went to J. Crew a few weeks back where an old acquaintance recognized me and said hello. I couldn’t identify her at first–that’s how long it’s been–but as soon as she re-introduced herself I had an immediate internal feeling that was a tad queasy. Here comes that trust-your-gut advice again…
She is one of those super-friendly people who shows incredible interest in you and is ultra-gracious. You know the kind. They make you feel like you walk on water and you just want to be around their worshiping words. This woman asked all about what I was doing. When I told her, she was so impressed she immediately offered to have her husband contact me. “You’d be perfect to speak to his university classes. It’s so hard for him to find great women entrepreneurs to talk to his students! And,” she said, “I need a coach and would love to work with you. Do you have a card?”
As my wise and wonderful daughter and I walked back to the parking lot she turned to me and said, “You’ll never hear from her.” Of course, she was right. That was a month ago. The old queasy feeling I had was based on past experience with this same woman. I remembered that a couple of decades ago this ‘friend’ filled my calendar with lunch dates and other tempting plans, then canceled each one as they came up. She taught me to not trust her word.
It’s taken me a long time in business to sort through the false gods promising a quick buck or instant success. In the midst of writing this entry I had an email exchange with a long-time client who has been on hiatus for a few months. Within an hour we worked out how she would move forward in the fall, what dates she wanted and a payment plan. No empty promises or false hopes. I’ll fill my buckets with the less flashy and more dependable sources I’ve been cultivating, not the ones whose words and actions don’t match.
