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I took my second one-on-one Mac class at the Stamford Town Center Apple Store last Friday at 8am, before the mall even opened. I love that! I didn’t get caught in the middle of rush hour traffic, I didn’t have to hunt for a parking space and there wasn’t much activity in the store. I could concentrate on my lesson better than the afternoon session I’d gone to two weeks before when it was noisy and crowded.
I learned two very cool things that I hadn’t figured out on my own–how to download a photo without going into my picturetrail.com collection (6 steps) and how to download video into i-movie, edit it, bring it into youtube.com and upload it onto my blog. Years ago, this would have been a semester-long course.
I had a staff member click this image of my hair stylist, Donna Lysobey of Noble Salon, and me before Donna fixed me up for my new headshot. You’ll see the afters as soon as I get the proofs back from Kate Eisemann. Deryll, my one-to-one instructor walked me through the uploading steps. Voila!
One thing I know for sure is that I want to work with professionals when it comes to my image. I’ve got Scarlett Debease of Scarlett New York styling my wardrobe and Donna to do my hair and makeup for the photo shoot. That helped me to relax and look my best when smiling for the camera.
Last month I received the NEWBO Woman of Distinction Award. Right before the awards presentation portion of the meeting, I handed my digital camera to Don, my client Jill’s significant other, and said, “Could you record this?” I didn’t even know how to instruct him to zoom in, but he did a valiant job. Deryll taught me how to zoom in while uploading this to youtube, so the quality isn’t perfect. I’m most pleased with the audience’s reaction. I’d love you to watch this first minute and let me know if it translates.
My kids are tweeting their hearts out. They were born to this technological age. In nursery school, Laura was in the dress-up corner playing grocery store and scanning bananas over the toy cash register. I didn’t understand why she was waving the fruit over the keys in that particular way rather than just punching in the dollars and cents amounts. Our next trip to Stew Leonard’s revealed the answer as the check-out clerk there used the same motion. “Smart kid, my daughter” I thought.
I’m trying! We of the Baby Boomers have adapted to answering machines, computers, cell phones and the like, each time protesting, “Who needs that?” before adapting and proclaiming their benefits.
I know I will master this new technology. I know that it’s important. I know I will make great connections and learn lots. But right now, I still don’t get it and am whiny and annoyed. However, I recognize that that’s my style and move forward anyway. I had a wonderfully generous twitter lesson on Friday from Miraim Salpeter who introduced me to tweetdeck. Now there’s a chirping sound coming from my laptop every few seconds as tweets come through along with notification of new followers and those I’m following.
This morning’s reading in Courage to Change, a daily inspirational book, ends with a quote by Confucius: It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.
Unstoppable is my middle name.
When Meredith signed up for my Transformations through Transitions group this spring her goal was to bring her breast cancer story to the public’s attention.
She talked about creating an advisory board–more like a support posse–which stimulated Meredith’s drive to get help and share the journey. But the bigger challenge, the one she really wanted to be held accountable for, was to create a trailer for the documentary she’s having filmed throughout her experience.
Since I teach people how to set realistic goals, Meredith knew she was stretching the limits considering that she was still showing up at commercial photography shoots to do her styling work, plus continuing with her chemo treatments which are a job in themselves. Was it really realistic to also edit down the hours and hours of video footage to create this marketing tool?
Meredith walked into our session last Thursday on fire. She had the trailer completed! She showed it to our group. Watch it! It’s amazing! Not only that, Meredith has speaking engagements lined up, too, and networking events where she can meet others interested in publicizing this disease.
In addition, Meredith is putting out requests for others help and support. I offered to assist her in that endeavor. Here’s what you can do:
- Meredith will be speaking at a Relay for Life in Westport, CT on Friday, June 26.
- Watch the trailer. Click any of the highlighted trailer links in this post.
- Pass the trailer onto any and all interested parties.
- Send your healing prayers and thoughts to Meredith on June 18 when she will be undergoing her final chemo treatment. For three days after she experiences such toxicity in her body that she is only able to lie in the fetal position, closely watched by her favorite animals, and allows time to pass.
Each of us has lessons to learn at any given time in our lives. The Universe delivers opportunities often cloaked as annoyances or challenges calling us to take the next step in our development. It’s very easy for me to see and coach others’ growth edges. It’s not as easy for me to observe or negotiate my own.
First an easy (non-coaching) scenario: I attend a fellowship meeting in a building where several groups convene at the same time. There’s a particularly noisy crowd across the hall from my session. A colleague in my room was disturbed by its volume and said, “Would one of you go over there and ask them to close the door?” I responded that I wasn’t bothered by it, but if she was, she could deal with it. It was a clear-cut illustration of who owned the problem. It was hers to respond to.
What’s been repeatedly coming up for me these days (well, always really…) is other people’s lateness. It’s a boundary issue–clients calling 5-10 minutes late, canceling within the 24-hour time frame I request, and the no-show’s or excuse makers in groups that are dependent on all members’ compliance. When I have to deal with this ‘misbehavior’ I tense up.
I discussed this with my coach because I don’t like the feeling of being rigid or inflexible. It feels hard. I physically tighten up and I don’t like the sensation. Complicating this is an expression I’d love to live by: wear life like a loose garment. I’m trying to reconcile that approach with this uncomfortable internal intensity.
Michele reframed it for me. My stand for impeccability in the form of punctuality is a strength. It doesn’t work for me to have the container of my relationships, group or team compromised by others behavior.
What’s actually hard is my not owning the truth of it. It doesn’t work for me. Simple as that. Yet, I find it difficult to say those words. That’s my growing edge. To simply and clearly take a stand for what has meaning for me.
I know this. I teach this, and I forget it.
I just got this great mailer and wanted to share it for several reason. First, I recommend that all of my clients send out letters to their sphere of influence to let them know when something new is happening. It’s appropriate to do this when you’re in any transition: starting a new phase of a business, between opportunities or re-creating yourself. First class mail has taken on new significance in this age of virtual marketing. I loved getting a hand-written note from a long-time friend and colleague.
When I was early in my egg-decorating career, Jack presented me the opportunity to have a one-woman show at the newly opened Brookfield Craft Center in South Norwalk. It put me on the map with a gala event and an article in the New York Times. I taught many classes at this renowned institution and shared conversation-filled dinners with Jack and Judith Russel in addition to other visiting craftsmen–a coveted invitation offered to their weekend faculty members.
So when I received this “warm letter” from Jack, it affirmed my belief in this practice. Jack was letting his sphere know what he was going on and what he was up to. I immediately picked up the phone to respond.
Jack had been with Brookfield Craft Center for 28 years. Now, at 61, he has the opportunity to make an enormous contribution elsewhere. I told him I, too, would keep my eyes and ears open for opportunities.
That’s the impact of reaching out and letting people know what’s going on. Action is the magic word.
On Monday a coaching client mentioned feeling inadequate to put herself in front of high-end clientele . The next day I heard the same fear articulated by another woman I was coaching who also had that “less than” thing going on. Then, over lunch with a colleague yesterday same story again.
So, what started as an “hmmmm” on Monday, took on trend status Tuesday and proved to be an epidemic by Thursday. Definitely a blog topic for today!
I’m traveling to Florida next week to be with good friends and have also scheduled an appointment while I’m down there to meet with the President of an acclaimed art college to offer a collaborative event. My gremlins are SCREAMING: “Why would he be interested in YOU?” “He has millions of alums who can do what you do in high heels and backwards.” “What could you possibly offer that he doesn’t already have enough of?”
Do you need me to share more to qualify for this sorority? I didn’t think so…
Fortunately, I participate in a spiritual fellowship every Friday morning and heard just what I needed today to address this issue: the fear that lies beneath our desires.
I believe that my intuitive hit to contact this gentleman, based on a quote of his I read in the NYTimes awhile back, was the spark of God in me. And that my gremlins represent FEAR and are combated only by action.
What’s on the other side of this impostor/less-than/fear-of-success syndrome is faith, success and the unknown. It used to be more comfortable for me (us) to wallow in the familiar, icky as it may be. I can’t do that any more.
The way I get beyond my saboteurs, head games and paralysis is to name it and claim it, to ask for help and to do the next right thing. I pick up the phone, describe what’s going on to a caring friend, and describe the action I’m going to take on my behalf. It has worked every time I’ve done this and is the underpinning for my success to date.
The fear doesn’t go away. I keep doing scarier and cooler things in my business. But the muscle I’m flexing to overcome the fear is growing stronger every time I use it.
Every year at this time my accountant asks me who I paid more than $600 to over the course of the year. Every year I cross my fingers and hope that I had already created a list with each of their names, addresses, and Social Security #’s (or EIN’s). And each year I search in vain for that list.
But a week ago I bit the bullet and created a spreadsheet to carry me through this tax season and forward. I looked through my Quicken records and came up with my list. Then I went through my database and got their addresses. In a few cases, and I congratulated myself here, I had recorded their SSN or EIN. I still have some calls to make for that info. But I will now have it forEVER moving forward.
Even though it was tedious and time-consuming, the thrill at the end came from seeing the great team I have working for me. I’m grateful I don’t carry a payroll of employees, but am delighted to share my list of subcontractors who keep me totally professional:
- Steve – Webmaster
- Valerie – Virtual Assistant
- Jennifer – Writer
- Farah – Graphic Designer
- Sean – Computer Guru
- Michele – Coach
- Tonya – Marketing
- Lena – Blog Maven
- Laura – PR
- Louise – Writer
Thanks, Team!
One of the most joyous things I have done in my life/work is founding the Artsy Girls–an organization that celebrates and supports nationally recognized creative women. The criteria for selection include:
- national recognition for creativity (published books, magazine coverage, museum selection, national awards, etc.)
- earning a living in the art form (surface design, illustration, crafts, choreography, calligraphy, etc.) and
- an attitude of collegiality, support, kindness and affection
Monday night we recognized three of our members who were inducted into their own industry’s Halls of Fame. What a thrill to share their successes and honor them. From left to right they are Jinny Avery–the one and only person to be inducted into the Quilters Hall of Fame in 2006, Naiad Einsel (whose work is on display right now at the Westport Public Library) who, with her late husband Walter, was selected by the Society of Illustrators Hall of Fame (in the company of Norman Rockwell and Maurice Sendak to name a couple of other past honorees) and Mary Ellroy who was selected by the New York Museum Toy Hall of Fame for her contribution to the field through her inventions and creations.
Every woman in the Artsy Girls is outstanding and had the opportunity to share a recent success with all of us. That evening as we went around the room–hostess and designer Beverly Ellsley’s amazing ballroom/dining room– one after another woman revealed gems of success, optimism and joy.
We have all been fortunate enough to find careers and lives that allow full self-expression. The world economy has an impact, but will not dampen our thriving internal economies. Especially when we get together to celebrate.
I had the privilege of visiting two open houses this past weekend. Successful Mastermind Group clients invited me to their events, both of which were beautifully mounted and exciting to witness.
Carrie Wittenstein, at right with her sons, came to my group with an idea to create products with a philosophy of passing along kindness. She envisioned developing postcards and t-shirts with her message. Take a look at Carrie’s Woudn’t It Be Nice? site to see how she expanded the idea, the b-nice projects she’s created and order some cool stuff while you’re there. Part of Carrie’s vision is to give back, which is exactly what she does when you purchase a Wouldn’t It Be Nice t-shirt or sweatshirt. A donation of $5 is given to her favorite charitable organization when you do.
Carrie’s event was Friday evening. On Saturday I had the privilege of visiting the Loft Artists Association in Stamford, CT where my client Nikki Bates–goldsmith extraordinaire–participated in their open studio weekend.
You’ll have to go to Nikki’s site to see how truly exquisite her jewelry is. When I walked into her studio, a goal she established during one of our sessions, it took my breath away. There stood Nikki looking every inch the successful artist and businesswoman surrounded by her immaculate studio (she swears she cleaned up for company!).
Her showcase was filled to the brim with magnificent gems mounted with style and craftsmanship that is unique to Nikki. In addition, she was being assisted by her mother and mother-in-law. How lucky is she to have two loving women who believe in her so much they lend their time and energy in support!
I came away from these two visits feeling reinforced in my mission to lead remarkable women to their own definitions of success.
A funny thing happens in my business. Every so often a client who left a session totally energized, on fire to reach her goals and thriving in her newfound commitment to her own success, will approach me a week or two later a bit downtrodden.
“My husband thinks that looking at office space in xyz town will change our lives too much.”
“My sister-in-law told me she thought it was too high-stakes for me to invite the press to my art opening.”
“My mentor says I’m paying the graphic designer too much for my new logo.”
Thanks for sharing, Folks.
In my Create Your Own Future workshops and retreats, and with coaching clients as well, I include a proviso: Be careful who you share your dreams with. Often and surprisingly, the very people we think would be the most supportive are the ones who may subtly sabotage the dream. They don’t do it intentionally.
However, when you’re on your path, working towards your vision, the status quo is going to get rocked. Family members and close friends may not want to have that altered. The way they create “Don’t Change!” will look different in each case. But the effect on you, the visionary, can be devastating.
The solution? Share your go-up goals, as Zig Ziglar calls them, only with those on an equally committed path to success–your goal buddies, Mastermind Group colleagues, coach and business allies. The others? When they ask about what you’re working on, just smile and say, “You’ll see…”
