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I had the distinct honor and privilege of dining with esteemed members of Moffly Media as well as my co-panelists for the upcoming 4th Annual Women in Business event at Dolce in Norwalk. The theme is Entrepreneurship. I met Michele Ross of Letarte Swimwear, Kendra Farn of PGaryn Productions, Demi Ferraris of Vineyard Vines and Marit Price who will moderate the event. (I’m feeling very brunette…)
Kathy McShane, who heads up Ladies Who Launch in SW Connecticut is already a valued colleague. She was there and will be on the panel as well. What a great time we had! The purpose of getting together was to review the questions we’ll be asked as panelists, but we were having so much fun getting to know each other–and the table was rectangular, not round–which was less conducive to group conversation, so we bonded royally and promised to email our moderator with questions and comments.
I said to my table-mates, it felt like a rehearsal dinner for a wedding. The big event is coming, and now we know each other and will look forward to being together again.
I tell you this insider information to share that this is typical of how it is in business. Circumstances aren’t always as you expect or desire them to be, so you go with what is. The Marketing Director from Moffly made the wise call to allow the relationships among us to take seed and blossom.
If you want to see the gorgeous flowering of this garden, please join me on Tuesday, May 24 from 5:30-8:30pm. I heard that they’ve already sold more advance tickets than in any of the previous years, so please order soon. I wouldn’t want you to miss it.
I’m excited to be hosting my 17th Remarkable Women’s Network event this evening at Alfya’s Skin Care Salon in New Canaan. I met Alfya when she was a Master Aesthetician at Noelle, the Day Spa in Stamford. In Alfya’s trusted hands, I was transported from mom, business owner, carpool driver, etc. to GODDESS. For those 50 minutes in a darkened room with meditative music playing over the sound system, it was all about me.
Alfya went out on her own a couple of years ago, as many people did, following the economic downturn and transitions that accompanied it. I bumped into her and her husband at the Apple store in Stamford. She was learning how to build her own website. I’m inspired by her determination, hard work and courage. Renting real estate in New Canaan is not for sissies.
She’ll be accompanied tonight by 5 other experts who will offer re-freshing tips to all the attendees. I’ve had the benefit of being guided by each of these professionals myself, which is how I selected them. I’ve asked each of the pros to come up with three tips to offer attendees. Who doesn’t need a shot in the arm, a suggestion or some inspiration to change up ‘the way it’s always been around here?’ That’s what tonight is all about. A shot in the arm. A boost to the spirit. And a chance to connect with other women business owners who are open to growth.
Betsy Krobot, of BetsyK Home Choreography, will help the women tonight identify one thing they can easily do to begin the process of organizing their homes and offices. I’ll never forget when Betsy helped me transition from my art business to my coaching business. For starters, she moved all of my design books from one side of my studio to the other. All my business books were brought onto the recently vacated shelves. “This is where you want your focus now, Jane,” Betsy advised me. Eventually that space got filled, as did my coaching slots.
Scarlett DeBease will enlighten us on wardrobe and style changes we can make to touch up our looks. Here’s another woman who has radically changed my life. NEVER do I enter my closet any more with “I-have-nothing-to-wear” syndrome. Twice a year Scarlett consults with me, helps me play dress up and assembles dozens of combinations of outfits for all occasions. She documents them digitally so I have a notebook of what to wear. She’ll have a tip or three to share as well.
Liz Ball of TFI Envision oversaw my brand re-identification five years ago with professionalism and taste. Tonight she’ll help entrepreneurs curious about coordinating their brand identities with all the new social media constructs. “Do I need to include my facebook and twitter addresses on my business card?” I asked Liz. Come tonight for answers.
Tracy Boyce recently did a feng shui reading on my place. I’ve begun implementing the ‘cures’ she recommended and have to report a huge uptick in my business immediately thereafter. She’ll advise those gathered tonight on the wisdom of the ages and how shifting energy can impact your world.
I’m the sixth expert. I do believe that change starts within. I’ll be sharing lessons from my book Soul Proprietor on renewals my clients and I have made over the years. “Re-visiting” and “re-framing” are two techniques I’ve used to get myself unstuck.
There are three spots left as of this writing (9:40am). Hope to fill the house, er, spa. Come join me!
One of my clients is in that long, dark hallway that seems to lengthen and dim as a huge deadline draws near. She has been relentlessly working toward her vision. Opening day is soon. Her gremlins have formed choruses and are serenading her hourly.
“She” is actually a collage of several of my clients who are about to manifest big time, but are on the precipice of belief today. Is it really possible to have this dream? The answer is YES. It just doesn’t feel that way.
One of the tools I give the amazing women I work with is called metavision–taking a helicopter view of what their lives look like rather than the magnifying lens perspective.
All of my clients excel at the microscopic details of getting the job done. They’re exceptional at their crafts, remarkable in their abilities to attract and utilize the skills of others to assist them, and uncommon at accepting responsibility and responding to the needs and wants of others. They’re visionaries when it comes to how their talents can make this world a better place.
Where I need to guide each of these wonderful women is in pulling back from the day-to-day operations and having them look at the big picture. What does your life look like from 5000 feet up? Who’s in the picture with you? Do you like what you’re doing? Are you having fun? What’s the scenery surrounding you? Is this where you want to be?
Often, they are so caught up in the dailiness of production that how they’re living their lives is overlooked. When, on our call, we shoot up and look at what’s happening below, there’s an energy shift, a recognition that this is what they’re meant to be doing. It’s not easy, but it could not be any other way.
All of my clients love what they do. (It’s a prerequisite of working with me.) Where they need my help is believing that the miracle is coming, especially in today’s uncertain economic climate where everything has a longer lead time than in the past. Whether and when it will arrive is not guaranteed, but the daily journey is where we can take responsibility. Your attitude and outlook inform your mental and physical health and your fortune.
The adage tells us it is always darkest before the dawn. Will you stay the course of the long dark night of the soul?
During the final session of my winter Mastermind Group, I had participants close their eyes as I read three visualizations. We then debriefed each woman’s to establish a Life Purpose statement. Here’s what happened with Harriette Trevino, co-owner of Bull’s Head Printers in Monroe, CT.
At the start of our last meeting together, Harriette–high on the success of an event she’d hosted the night before–announced to everyone that she was “fully activated.” Like every other member of the Mastermind Group, Harriette had experienced the profound change that occurs when a group of like-minded individuals work together towards committed goals. For Harriette, it was a deep shift in her perspective on the job ahead. She was willing to do whatever it takes to be successful–meeting prospects in her new location, listening to and serving their needs with enthusiasm.
When it was Harriette’s turn to share the thoughts and images she envisioned, the Life Purpose statement that emerged was this: “I am the gentle breeze that lifts and inspires.”
The next day I received an email message from Harriette oozing with joy. After sleeping on her Life Purpose statement for one night, she got a note from a colleague thanking her for the event she’d hosted:
On a side note, your follow-up email below is no less masterfully written than was your MCing last night’s event. Not only were your remarks upbeat and the intros smooth as silk, but you lifted up everyone else who spoke as well. So big kudos to you for a super well done job.
Nice when you get an affirmation like that so quickly.
Leigh Scott attended my Create Your Own Future retreat three year ago this month. During that event, we had a Come As You’ll Be activity projecting forward five years from the present. That night Leigh presented herself as the successful author of a book on parenting. She’s right on schedule.
This morning Leigh showed me a copy of her proposal–the document an author prepares for a literary agent who then sells it to a publisher. I got goosebumps when I saw what Leigh had put together. It was a spiral bound book with dividers for each of the areas required in a proposal including:
- About the book
- About the author
- Marketing
- Table of Contents
- Sample Chapter
- The Competition
And more. It took Leigh nearly a year of dedicated work to prepare this draft. She made the book her priority during this time. She made other changes as well. Knowing how much time she wanted to devote to writing, Leigh looked at her whole life and chose to make changes. She downsized her living situation to reduce her cost of living, which in turn reduced how much money she needed to earn.
These were all well-considered decisions with the vision of the book serving as the achievement that would make this worthwhile. She knew that in order to accomplish this life goal, certain activities would fall by the wayside. Making writing her priority, Leigh intentionally went without watching TV for a year. She chose to make time only for what was most important–earning enough to live while writing this book. Leigh was sure to include and pay for an accountability structure to keep her on track with her writing during the process.
In describing her feeling of satisfaction and delayed gratification, Leigh told an analogous story, perfectly related to her subject matter: parenting. A young boy had poured water on his father’s laptop computer. The father, modeling the behavior of a loving authority, explained to the child that his toy tractor was going to be taken away until the little boy carried out enough chores (suited to his level of ability–like licking envelopes and putting away toys) to make up for his dad’s loss. After four months of enforcing this ‘punishment’ the debt was repaid. The father took out the toy tractor which the little boy thought was brand new. “This is even better than the one I used to have!” he proclaimed. “It goes faster and I like it better.”
When you process something step-by-step (no shortcuts), suffer the slings and arrows of the journey, the ultimate reward is sweeter. Even if you weren’t in Westport, CT this morning, you may have felt the joy radiating out from Leigh’s pleasure in accomplishment.
Watch for Leigh’s book Becoming a Loving Authority: How to Get Out of Your Own Way as a Parent. I’ll see you at the book party!
It’s hard to believe that something as uncomfortable and aggravating as frustration could actually be a good thing. But, consider this: frustration may be the indicator that you’re about to learn something new.
It’s one of my least favorite feelings, but as a sole/soul proprietor one that I experience frequently since there’s no water cooler near the desk in my home office where I might find easy access to answers. Google helps a lot, and I have my own personal search engine of colleagues I’ve assembled to go to with specific, un-google-able concerns. I’ve learned to recognize frustration and accept it as part of my growth process.
David Pogue writes about technology for the New York Times and breaks the subject down into bite-sized pieces that I understand. I love his style and humor. I quote him in my 21 Strategies for Growing Your Business talk, because he helped me get a better perspective on my own learning curve.This was written in January, 2002.
The digital age has done wonders for photography. Once you had to take your film to the mall for developing.
But today you can eliminate all that…hassle with little more than a…digital camera, a…printer and a …computer.
Just connect the camera to the computer with a USB cable, copy your multimegabyte JPEG files to the hard drive; open the photos in an image-processing program; rotate and crop each one, adjusting the color; calculate the pixel density and desired output dimensions—and then click on print. What could be simpler?
In 2002 I’m not sure I knew what a USB cable was, let alone pixel density. Now? Piece of cake! Yesterday, I had to ask someone what an “impression” was on facebook. Maybe next year I’ll laugh at my ignorance. The emotion/feeling that comes is frustration–wanting so badly to grasp that which has not yet come into my reach.
I trust that what I need to know will permeate my brain through osmosis and simply being part of the zeitgeist. Plus, I take classes, attend workshops and watch tutorials to acquire the knowledge. I will learn what I need to know.
For now, I respect my frustration, keep moving towards what it is I desire to understand and don’t berate or speak poorly to myself that I’m not there yet. I only experience frustration over things that have meaning and I’m unable to achieve. Moving beyond frustration to understanding and mastery leads to self-esteem.
Like you, I’ve learned so much in my years as an entrepreneur. There’s no finish line that I can see, and I’m very much in the race. Which, I’ve learned, is not to the swift.
I’m not a regular reader of the sports page, but a baseball column by Red Smith caught my eye one day many years ago. Touted as “the game’s greatest writer on the game’s greatest years” Red Smith wrote in the article that after thirty years reporting on the sport he thought he finally understood the game.
With that humble admission I felt a bond to this man. Who ever admits publicly that they are NOT the expert, the one with the answers or #1 in their arena? Yet, aren’t we all constantly struggling to keep that game face alive? I know I am, although you may not hear me say it.
Every Monday morning I have the inordinate luxury of being surrounded by like-minded business owners whom I respect enormously and who readily admit, “I have no idea what I’m doing.” I nod in admiration of their courage and honesty. Feeling like an impostor is as integral to being a business owner as feeling like king of the mountain. It just depends on the day.
C’mon. Admit it! You sometimes feel this way too, don’t you? My feelings can’t be that unique.
What keeps me thriving is that I have a place to make such an admission, to show up in my humanness. That I can own my conscious incompetence, as we say in coaching circles, and keep moving forward in spite of it.
Do you have a safe space to allow your humility to show?
We as business owners all know that the way to capitalize on our resources is to spend our time doing the tasks we do best and delegating the rest. When I was new and young in my business I did it all: data entry (handwriting names on 3×5 cards), producing the items for sale (decorated eggs, jewelry), marketing (designing the postcard mailings and applying the stamps myself), etc., etc. I always felt like I didn’t have the money to pay someone else. And besides, it would take longer to explain it than to just do it.
Over time I learned that in order to grow, I needed to let go of the work that I could hire out and that had a lower dollar-an-hour amount in cost. If I could design and sell an egg for $100 and it took me an hour to do that, then anything taking up my time–like filing or licking stamps (this was pre-self-stick stamp days) valued at less than $100 per hour–I would be wise to delegate. Eventually I hired an assistant in my studio at $10 per hour and never looked back.
Nowadays, I spend 90% of my time coaching, speaking and writing for which I have the highest return on my investment. I hire people to convert my online e-newsletter to html, take registrations for my events and outfit me so I look professional and stylish.
Think of it this way if you’re having a hard time letting go. At some point our forefathers and foremothers let go of milking their own cows and trusted that the milk they drank would be okay, even if it didn’t come from the labor of their own hands.
Is there a to-do on your list that you’d like to let go of but are afraid of losing control? Can you trust that delegating this labor-intensive task will free you up to be more productive in your business? Call a goal buddy and commit to letting go of the equivalent of cow-milking. Let me know how it goes.
My younger daughter Laura, to whom my book Soul Proprietor is dedicated, helped me out this week by listening to the soon-to-be-released audio version of the book. Line by line, she read the text while listening to the recording I’d spent the last couple of months on. I wanted a fresh pair of eyes and ears to catch any stumbles or other errors in the recorded version.
She did a fine job dog-earing any page that had a repeated phrase, a mispronunciation or missed word from the text. I want this to be letter perfect. I plan to submit it for acceptance in iTunes and know that any boo-boos would throw it into a reject pile. (BTW, if anyone knows the best way to get onto iTunes listings, please let me know.)
When she was all done reading this new edition as well as listening to my voice speaking it, I asked her if she had learned anything new. After all, she’s known me for 28 years. I was pretty sure it would be in her bones having lived with and observed me for the first 18. Laura is entrepreneurial now herself, translating Japanese text daily for an international television company. She works independently and takes on other freelance work as it comes.
“I was not aware of how much help you’ve gotten from other people,” she told me. The book is filled with examples of my reaching out and asking questions of people in my mastermind group, taking courses, attending networking events and otherwise relying on a think-tank of friends and colleagues who have been more than generous with their advice and resources.
“I didn’t realize how many people you’ve hired and how much you’ve delegated.”
“I had no idea how persistent you have to be. You would call someone six times before letting go. I’ve never done that.”
I love that Laura had me so magically powerful–that I had created it all by myself. But, I love it more that she knows the truth and has a realistic sense of what it truly takes to be successful: lots of help and the determination, willingness and self-caring to go for it.
I’m just back from a stimulating conference in Waltham, MA put on by the National Speakers Association-New England Chapter. The opening keynote speaker was David Meerman Scott, author of The New Rules of Marketing and PR. His talk emphasized doing things in “real time” rather than pontificating on the ins-and-outs of running a business. Deal with what’s right in front of you and call attention to it.
David played an hysterical youtube video to illustrate his point. A disgruntled passenger was unhappy with the luggage department’s treatment of his instrument, which he’d checked. He dealt with the poor customer service he received in a 2010 – new rules – kind of way. Watch at your convenience and have a tissue ready, you’ll be laughing so hard.
This prompts me to write about an annoying interchange I just had trying to change the hosting of my web domain. Network Solutions, with whom janepollak.com has resided for ages, sent me a renewal form. I began the process of renewing my subscription for what looked like a nominal amount until I got to the checkout page and I noticed a figure in the hundreds of dollars. I immediately wanted out as I know godaddy.com will host you for under $10 a year.
In order to get my domain out of their clutches, Network Solutions kept me (actually, my faithful assistant) busy for hours. Because I’m no longer accessible on janepollak@earthlink.net, they needed about a dozen forms of identification including a copy of my driver’s license, a call on my home telephone line and a long questionnaire to validate that I was indeed the person who signed on years ago. This required enormous dedicated time and attention (i.e. money-making time). Finally, when we’d crossed every “t” and dotted every “i”, the customer service rep asked why I wanted to change services. “Pricing,” I said.
“Oh, if we offered you the same service for $8.50 per year, would that make a difference?”
Of course it would! I immediately signed back on for 3 more years. But why didn’t she tell me that in the first place?
The news here, and I may be late to the party to really get this, is that companies want to hold onto customers. It’s a good time to negotiate, especially if the competition is knocking at your door.
BTW, I asked the customer rep if she’d mind if I blogged about our interchange. “Not at all,” she said. So I did.
