You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘women business owners’ category.
As seen at Dr. Honig’s Office
What do difficult clients and getting root canal have to do with each other?
Well, actually, as I re-read that question, it makes sense to compare the two. They can both be extremely painful, and you probably wouldn’t look forward to either.
But that wasn’t the original connection I was going for. As I was leaving my root canalist’s office last week I glimpsed this jar on his counter. Of course, it made me laugh out loud because as you may remember from a previous blog entry, the dentist’s chair is my least favorite place to be. His decorative urn made me pause to consider what constituted a ‘problem patient’ and if I would be so designated.
As a patient, I never thought of myself as a client, but of course, it’s just another designation for one who pays for your services. I never considered my behavior from the dentist’s point of view, which is how all trying clients must think–not from the perspective of whom they’re impacting, right?
Difficult Clients is the topic of discussion at my upcoming Remarkable Women’s Network session on June 28. I will invite attendees to share their challenges with me as I coach them through scenarios they are facing. Should be a fun night to participate in and also to observe.
I inquired from my gentle and capable dentist, Dr. Honig, if I were a candidate for the jar. “Not you,” he generously replied. He then took a pad of small Post-It notes, held it up and said, “HIPAA prevents me from writing down real names, so I just put their initials on these pieces of paper and put them in the jar.” Evidently lateness and lack of payment are far worse offenses than fear and trepidation.
He’s very patient with me. I spend the first 10-15 minutes of our time together numbing out, then getting my iPod cued up for listening to music while he drills, followed by clutching the arms of the dental chair till my knuckles turn white. The first song to come on that morning was from my Jersey Boys album and it was “Big Girls Don’t Cry.” How ironic.
I received this testimonial from a client I worked with a few years ago. I was so happy that she shared it with me that I asked her permission to share it (anonymously) with you. I hope you feel as inspired and motivated as I did reading it.
Short story: I’m speaking in two weeks at the XXX* conference, sponsored by Xxxxx* Women. I reached out to the president to ask if there was a room rate at the Crowne Plaze where the conference will take place (in Any City*, ST*) . She responded with the name of her contact and the room rate. After writing the contact I thought; (channeling your lessons) ‘Wait a minute, I’m traveling, speaking (and not being paid) shouldn’t I ask my host to pick up the tab for my room?’ So I took a deep breath, wrote her and asked, and lo and behold the answer was YES. Had I not asked, I’d be paying for my own room and not feeling very good about it.
*Names changed to protect the innocent.
I congratulated my client for her courage and action. I hope you are inspired to ask for something you need today.
Like this:
One of the reasons I just joined Ladies Who Launch was to be sure to claim my space at Kristin van Ogtrop’s talk last week in Greenwich. I knew it would be a sell-out and that members would receive priority. I became a platinum member and slid onto the list of attendees.
She was fabulous!
To get a sense of Kristin’s outlook and humor I recommend buying her book (seen here), but to give you a small appetizer, here are two of my favorite points she made during her talk that night:
#3 – If you don’t have a thick skin, learn to heal quickly.
She showed an actual email she’d received (the person’s email name and address included!) that was insulting and rude as an example of what she occasionally contends with. That really got my attention as I have recently been on the receiving end of others’ ire. When you’re a public figure of any dimension, you do become a target. I liked her directive to deal with the hurt and move on rapidly. I’ve been applying that wisdom to good advantage.
I remember a Newsday poll from many years ago that named Howard Stern as the best-loved radio personality. He was simultaneously named the most-hated radio personality. Fame (or any public notice) will often be a double-edged sword.
My other favorite point Kristin made was:
#4 – Don’t exceed your own personal speed limit.
That’s easily understood and could be a screen saver on your computer monitor. How often do you take on more than you can accomplish in a day? That little word “no” (which Kristin recommended liberal use of) will help keep your travel lane flowing smoothly.
In addition to hearing Kristin speak, I’m delighted to be a new member of Ladies Who Launch which is being so well run by Kathy McShane who is devoted to helping women business owners succeed. I share that passion with Kathy and am excited about joining forces with her to serve our community and beyond.
Carlette Cormier holding her Savannah Toile handbag.
I spent the early part of this week visiting my good friend Meredith Gray at her new bungalow in Savannah. We invited a fellow Savannah-ite to join us for breakfast Tuesday morning at the Sentient Bean.
Carlette Cormier and I had met in 2003–I as a speaker, Carlette as an award-winning designer. She recently took my webinar, so our friendship was re-kindled and visiting her in GA was a must. Her focus now is in developing her Savannah Toile business, which she’s doing with great success.
Carlette is a born story-teller. She was describing a big job she’d installed a few years ago at an elegant restaurant in town called Ele. As a designer, she was tasked with creating upholstered walls for one of the dining rooms. I asked her how she had received that opportunity. Carlette’s next door neighbor is a masseuse and the owner of Ele regularly received massages from her. Carlette’s neighbor happily made the referral. As Carlette so succinctly put it:
“You never know where your next referral is coming from.”
Carlette’s upholstered wall panels for Ele
Terrie Williams
I’m a big believer in mining your files for ideas and opportunities that already exist and are in your back pocket. As I was clearing out my file cabinet last week, I came across an old EWN Newsletter featuring 20 Ways to Promote Yourself in Business by one of my all-time favorite business leaders and speakers, Terrie Williams.
I’d heard Terrie speak at an AWED (American Women’s Economic Development) Conference years ago, then again at my local networking organization not long after that. Her messages have resonated with me ever since hearing her stories at those events. The article summarizes that wisdom.
I emailed Terrie today to ask permission to share her ideas with my readers. I was hoping to hear back from her by week’s end. I got a response within 10 minutes with an emphatic “but of course!”
Thank you, Terrie, for your generosity then and now. Here’re the first 10 tips on her list of the “little things” that set us apart from the competition (slightly edited):
- Know that your reputation is valuable – and that it often reaches people before you do. Be sincere, be honest, be prepared, be professional, be thoughtful, be efficient–and delivers.
- Do what you say you’re going to do. If you can’t deliver on time (and reasons for this should only have to do with circumstances beyond your control) pick up the phone ASAP and say so. Make sure you meet the next deadline you set.
- Return all phone calls. You never know why a person may be calling.
- Treat everyone with respect and courtesy. A person’s position in life should have absolutely noting to do with how you interact with them. What goes around comes around.
- Be visible. Go to professional seminars, luncheons, receptions, dinners, any kind of gathering of folks. You have to be out there for people to notice you.
- When you meet people, be mindful. Look them in the eye, smile, be personable, have a firm handshake and actually be with the individual in that moment.
- Try to develop a knack for remembering names. People will be flattered if you can call them by name after only a brief introduction. Your recall is best when you want to remember.
- Be an active listener while you’re engaged in conversation. Politely excuse yourself if you feel yourself becoming bored or distracted.
- Create a “small talk” notebook for when you go out–anecdotes and/or questions you jot down about life or current events that are guaranteed to stimulate conversation. Be creative, even outrageous but always professional with your ideas. Ask people something about themselves. People do like to talk about their own lives and jobs.
- Be sensitive to the body language of those you come in contact with. And beware of how you come across to other people.
More coming later this week…
Like this:
Scarlett DeBease-My wardrobe and make-up consultant at 8am--pre-TEDx
I gave my TEDx talk my all on Saturday and I’m satisfied with my performance and also happy that it’s behind me now. It was an incredible opportunity to speak at such an extraordinarily well-executed event. Jeremey Donovan and his team did an outstanding job of coordinating nine speakers and all the logistics that went into creating a TEDx program–no small feat.
There was a timely essay in The New York Times Book Review yesterday by Susan Cain who gave her own TED talk in February about being an introvert–already an intriguing premise. Imagine being an introvert and having to present in front of 1500 people! Here’s a quote from that article describing how highly she regarded this opportunity:
The week before the conference, I canceled everything on my calendar other than bath time with my kids. Instead of writing and reading and working, I hired an acting coach, Jim, and rehearsed all day, every day, Monday through Saturday.
It served her well. Over two million people have watched the video of her speech The Power of Introverts. This makes me feel more secure in telling you how much I invested in my experience. I, too, hired a speech coach. I wanted to be sure that my talk was on point, that the order of my stories made sense, that I had the right images to accompany those stories, and that my gestures matched my words and conveyed my enthusiasm.
In addition, I hired someone to help me with my appearance on THE DAY. We met an hour before showtime for hair and make-up. I also made arrangements to have the event photographically documented. I saw this as a major opportunity and I did everything within my power to capitalize on its outcome.
This is also called risk-taking. There is no guarantee that I will get anything in return for my investment of time, energy, brain power and financial resources. That’s the nature of risks. But, I believe that I will and used every resource I had to achieve that. Time will tell.
One of the lessons I’ve learned is that even if this TEDx experience doesn’t become the turning point in my life that I optimistically wish for, the story of its unfolding will provide great material for whatever does show up for me next.
When I teach the marketing module in my Soul Proprietor’s Formula for Building Your Business, I begin with a conversation I once had with my good friend and illustrator, Maggie Swanson. We walked regularly when we lived in the same neighborhood and shared frequently what was going on in our art/business lives. It dawned on me after knowing Maggie for awhile that she NEVER told me her professional accomplishments like getting called to do the cover art for Sesame Street Magazine or that she’d been commissioned to illustrate a series of Golden Books.
I, on the other hand, bragged about every opportunity that crossed my threshold. After I’d seen yet another amazing project she’d be working on in her studio, I finally said something. “Maggie, how come you never even mention all the cool things you’ve got coming in the door?”
She told me that when she was growing up, if she looked in the mirror admiringly as she passed one by, her mother would say, “Maggie, S-P-S.” I had no idea what that stood for. She explained, “Self-Praise Stinks.” Ouch!
Imagine my delight when Maggie and I were walking at Compo Beach last week and she shared a recent thrill. Here’s how she told it:
When my new book “Lucky Cat Paper Dolls” was published, I was so happy that I forgot one of my mother’s precepts, “SPS.” This has also encompassed self-promotion for me.
I sent a copy of the book to Jackson Galaxy, a cat behaviorist with a very entertaining show, “My Cat From Hell” on the Animal Planet network. Within a few days I got a lovely handwritten thank you note from him. Then I emailed the Modern Cat blog and sent a link to the book on amazon.com. I got an email back from the owner Kate Benjamin [which said] “Perfect timing! I was just with Jackson Galaxy yesterday and I saw your book and wrote down your name so I could remember it! Thanks for the link!
Today I was surprised to be featured on the blog!
This is how it works. Maggie felt a connection to someone aligned with her mission, reached out in an appropriate manner, and continued to act on intuition and inspiration. The results tell the tale of authentic networking–heartfelt and successful.
Joan Cavanaugh - 75 today!
One of the first women I met when I joined EWN 20 years ago was a powerhouse business owner named Joan Cavanaugh. At the time, she owned a publishing company called W.J. Fantasy, Inc. which produced fine paper products–Advent Calendars, Games, Books, etc. illustrated by famous artists like Tomie dePaola. She was clearly a mover and shaker, and I liked her immediately. So much so that within a few months of meeting each other, she became my first recruit for my own Mastermind Group which has been operating continuously for two decades. I’ve watched Joan grow and sell W.J. Fantasy, move into voiceover work, and now teach corporate executives, women in particular, the extraordinary advantages of playing golf as a business-building tool.
You can read more about Joan’s rich history in her bio. She’s currently a client of mine, so I have a ringside seat to observe her formidable talents and vision. Joan WILL tilt the Universe with her dynamic approach to business and life. She’s writing a book, lecturing at universities and in the Boardroom teaching and modeling the advantages this sport provides for leveling the playing field.
I’ve watched Joan in action over the years. Whatever she takes on, she is 100% committed to its success. She is truly unstoppable, and anyone around her is sure to get swept up in her enthusiasm, spirit and business savvy. She works with students at the High School of Art & Design and brings them on board to help her with marketing. Joan recently hand-delivered chocolate golf balls to industry leaders with whom she’d like to network.
I knew that today was her birthday, but had never asked what number she’s celebrating. When she said “75″ I almost fell over. I love having a role model who is as enthusiastic, smart, energized and on track as Joan Cavanaugh. If you are looking for some inspiration during a dry spell, visit Joan’s site and take heart. There is no finish line as an entrepreneur. Joan is as excited about life and business today as when I met her back in the early 90′s.
Happy Birthday, Joan!
Lynn Robinson at the Enterprising Women conference in Hyannis, MA
The Enterprising Women conference I spoke at on Wednesday was inspiring from the get-go. Lynn Robinson, pictured here, was the opening keynote speaker. She addressed the topic of using intuition in business in a way that underscored every belief I’ve ever had and put an exclamation point on it.
Lynn’s talk, Trusting Your Gut–How the Power of Intuition Can Grow Your Business, took the audience through the paces of opening up to and trusting what she calls your ‘inner consultant’–your intuition. The steps Lynn talked about, with memorable stories to illustrate each point (buy her book!) include:
- Setting intentions
- Focusing on the WHAT, not the HOW
- Catching negative thoughts
- Practicing positive self-talk
- Asking your intuition
The most important thing I heard Lynn say was this: that just because we are intuitive and are guided by signs from within, that doesn’t mean that we automatically move from success to success. There may be long periods of drought, indecision, difficulty and disappointment in the process. But ultimately, if you are being guided by your inner knowing, your intuition will not fail you.
I had the good fortune to have dinner with Lynn the night before the event. We’re good pals from our NSA-New England Chapter days, and this was a perfect opportunity to re-connect and catch up. I got a preview of some of her stories and want to share one that was the most incredible and delicious. You’ll see what I mean.
Lynn had been chewing on a particularly difficult challenge in her business and was at her wits’ end. (You can read a more in-depth version here.) Although not a Christian, the phrase kept coming to her, “I want to see the hand of God. I want to see the hand of God on my life.” Over and over, those same words. She was sobbing, wracked with pain over this turning point in her career and didn’t know where to look next. She was looking for reassurance from on high to stay the course.
Her loving husband valiantly stepped in to comfort her. He knew that ice cream often did the trick and offered to take her for a sundae. Lynn kept crying and repeating her desire to see the hand of God on her life, even as they drove to the ice cream parlor. “I just want to see God’s hand on my life.”
She ordered her sundae, wiped away her tears when it arrived, and noticed her sign. There it was, quite creatively writ on a scoop of vanilla ice cream. She continued on the course she was on and never looked back. How sweet is that?
I received a straightforward email recently from a long-time subscriber who clearly stated that she ‘cannot stand’ my recent email marketing campaigns; that she will stay on my list only if I go back to my old way of coaching. I politely invited her to select which mailings she might like to continue receiving, for example just my e-newsletters and not my joint venture offers or announcements of my speaking engagements.
Interestingly, I’ve recently observed a sharp upswing in calls from the opposite camp requesting my services mainly because they admire what I’m doing online.
Anyone with an email address understands that business owners are using this form of communication frequently and strategically. I personally unsubscribed from over 200 lists at the end of last year. But I deliberately remained subscribed to some competitors whose multiple blasts may feel at times intrusive, but are also highly instructive. Hitting the delete key is worth the price of seeing what the competition is up to, where they’re showing up, what they’re offering and how they’re offering it. It’s a bit of a free education from the sidelines. I’m taking full advantage.
What bothered me about the email I had received was the intention it conveyed: Don’t grow, Jane. Don’t change. I liked you the way you were. Please stay that way and I will continue to be a fan.
This subscriber might have put it this way instead: “I’m really inundated with emails these days, and I’ve noticed an increase in your distribution. Is there any way I might stay in touch and not have quite the deluge?” I understand that some folks may not like the changes that I’ve made in order to grow my company. That’s okay. I’ve known for a long time that I can’t please everyone. I am willing and eager to meet your needs, but be aware of your own motivation and impact as you navigate these murky cyber-waters.
Personally, I know that what I say to others is a 100% reflection of where I am in my life at that time. It is my projection onto them of what I want or don’t want, and I’ve learned to take ownership of that.
Yesterday I attended a meeting where all participants had 3 minutes of air time to voice their issues. When it was apparent that there would be extra time, members were invited to share again for 2 minutes if they would like to contribute a second time. Three or four people raised their hands, and I noticed a growing resentment building inside of me. “Look at them! They think they deserve to be heard again. How presumptuous!” What was really going on inside of me was the deep desire (and fear) to get my hand up so that I could be heard again.
My attitude was about me, not them. As soon as I raised my hand and spoke, my pent-up emotions went away. I no longer had any judgment of others because I was tending to my own needs and taking responsibility for them.
I’m curious if you notice your own behavior around criticizing others. You’ve heard the biblical saying, “Before you take the speck out of your brother’s eye, remove the log from yours first.” Anyone want to share for three minutes here?
