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Since I believe in walking my talk, I have my own coach and two cherished sessions with her a month. On our last call discernment was the topic that we spent most of our time on. I’m in the enviable position of having many opportunities coming my way, several of which I created. But there are have been some unexpected surprises arriving as well that look attractive. My work is to decide where to put my energy and focus.
Recently I was invited to be a part of a nationwide educational program to offer teleclasses on the subject of Mastermind Groups, a business building program that is near and dear to my heart. I lead Mastermind Groups and participate in them as well. They serve as the most important tool in my own business’ growth and accountability. I’m a believer and want to spread the word. I thought the opportunity to be a part of a larger mission would suit me…at first.
What was required of me, though, was to cross-market with the other providers, which I know and appreciate is a way to build your contact list, database and renown. But I wasn’t crazy about the materials I started to receive from one of the other providers. I don’t have products that are ready and available for sale that would make this kind of marketing more viable. I could feel my heart and my gut saying, “Uh-oh!”
When I discussed it with my coach, she helped me remember how it feels when I’m involved with alliances where my heart sings–like with Brad Isaacs this past weekend delivering our Get Real program. Or with my promising collaboration with Eileen Fisher and my Remarkable Women’s Network. I understand the relationship. I know, admire and respect the individuals. It feels right.
As Michele said, “You’re driving around in a Jaguar with these collaborators, and someone is offering you a free Ford. Do you want that?”
The temptation is there, but I have to stay clear on my chosen destinations, my traveling companions and the quality of the ride. While it was still challenging for me to reject the teleclass offer, having that analogy made it crystal clear and slightly easier. I said “no” and “phew”.
I have everything I need and want in my life–family, home, community, stuff. I’m content. Until, that is, I receive the latest Neiman Marcus catalog or go to a networking event and talk to someone who is “ahead” of me in business. Then the gremlins come out and tell me I’m not enough.
I know I’m not alone. Fellow coach and Leadership colleague Brad Isaacs and I had the privilege of conducting our first Invitation to Get Real program yesterday for a wonderful group in Fairfield, CT. One of the major topics we hit was that feeling of not-enoughness. To a one, our participants had their own saboteurs telling them they weren’t smart, talented or worthy enough to deserve something in their lives.
By the end of our time together there was an appreciation of the importance of naming and claiming the gremlins in our lives. When you can embrace that shadow side of yourself, you are free to move forward. The energy required to tamp it down, deny it its head or react to its message is released when it is named and acknowledged.
I’m curious to hear the messages your gremlins send you?
My brand new program, An Invitation to Get Real, is this Saturday. My co-presenter, Brad Isaacs, is flying in from CA on Friday, and I can’t wait. We’ve been working on this for months. We’ve got a roomful of participants (there are still a few places, if you’re interested) and I’m lining up the supplies in my office.
But one thing had me paralyzed. The guest room bed needed to be changed, and I hate housework. I mentioned it at a meeting on Monday morning and wanted to get into analyzing why it was that I had this issue. What great deprivation had I suffered in my youth that left me inept and antagonistic to bed-making? I asked for feedback.
My dear friend Doreen, rather than jumping into the analysis pool with me, asked me where the clean sheets were kept. It would be her delight to go to my house and “freshen the room.” I should tell you that Doreen is the owner of an award-winning inn in Provincetown.
One of the first motivational tape series I ever listened to was by Dr. Wayne Dyer. A story stands out clearly in my memory of a patient of his who was bemoaning the fact that she never learned how to ride a bike. “Let’s go outside and get you on one right now,” he offered. No, she wanted to figure out why it was that her parents had never given her that opportunity.
I’ve joined Wayne’s world. I want to be in action, not analysis.
