You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Martha Beck’ tag.
I was laughing out loud as I read Martha Beck’s column in the August edition of O Magazine. In her article, Our Buddies, Our Selves, she hilariously describes the inner voices we all experience (whether we admit it or not). She’s named them. There’s Fang, who shows up impeccably dressed, organized and responds with alacrity. As she puts it:
In a clear authoritative voice, Fang delivers strong opinions about how you should manage your time.
And then there’s Buddy who’s dressed in shorts and a tank top and hugs you when you ask his advice.
There are almost no words on Buddy’s resume (the few that do appear are jokes and song lyrics), and in the margins, Buddy has doodled pictures of chipmunks.
It feels like that, doesn’t it? Our rational, buttoned-down mind tells us we’d have to be crazy to pass up an opportunity, while our still, small, chipmunky voice whispers, ‘please don’t do that again.’
Typically on a coaching call with one of my clients, I’ll ask her to get quiet for a moment, take a breath, close her eyes and go inside. Invariably, the truth and real desire bubble up to the surface in that moment, and there is no going back.
We betray ourselves all the time in the guise of a well-dressed gremlin carrying that smart attache case with organized folders. In my experience, time will do what time does–give you migraines, arthritis or back pain to send its message. You can’t do this anymore.
Listen to that inner voice now. What is it saying today? What change do you need to make? What do you need to say ‘no’ to today? Have courage! Ask Fang to step aside and open your arms for a hug from the truth.
I’ve been a fan of Martha Beck ever since reading Expecting Adam: A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic over a decade ago. She’s a life coach, author and columnist for O Magazine, whose wisdom and words are inspiring. Her recent column in O’s September issue was so on point for one of my clients, I had to read her my underlines.
This particular client was being self-critical of her need for personal time and rest. She wasn’t finding her mojo and felt guilty about it. Martha’s piece entitled “Lying Low” addressed this. “Humans are the only creature in nature that resist the pattern of ebb and flow.” We think we have to keep moving, keep generating, keep trying to solve, solve, solve when sometimes the solution is to step aside and rest.
“…The darkness between days, the emptiness between fill-ups, the fallow time between growing seasons–are the necessary complements of upbeats.” To everything, there is a season. Resting and restoring are parts of the cycle we so easily overlook, more so when our minds are telling us to keep striving. Sometimes the solution is to stop and let time pass.
That said, I’m leaving for a mini-vacation to Kripalu, my favorite place to go for R & R. These last days of August feel a lot like the end of December when it seems that no one is around. The phone is quiet, networking events are non-existent (except for mine next week!) and everyone appears to be operating in back-to-school or last-chance-for-the-beach mode. Rather than fight it or try to make it different, I’m taking off to a place where I can rest, get a massage and be in nature.
Come the hectic pace of September I know I’ll look back on this quiet time and be grateful that I didn’t push my way through it but surrendered instead. Thanks for the reminder, Martha.
I’m not a big fan club person, but Oprah holds a particular fascination for me–the empire she’s created, the people she has around her and the message she expounds. So, I plunked down $377 to attend the Live Your Best Life weekend in New York City in anticipation of seeing up-close-and-personal the likes of Oprah, Gayle, Dr. Oz, Martha Beck, etc.
I was not disappointed.
Here is Oprah herself kicking off the event Saturday morning at Jacob Javits Convention Center. There were thousands of women and a sprinkling of men in attendance. At this morning opener, Oprah introduced Elizabeth Gilbert of Eat, Pray, Love fame to set the tone for the day, which she did. My favorite story of Elizabeth’s was about how we are each running life in our own mazes. We peek over the walls of ours to look at each others’ mazes to get clues for our own journey. That, she said, explains the popularity of memoirs (like hers) and also of the Oprah show. We’re all looking for how to do it better or differently. She was wonderful.
The big event was Saturday night at Radio City Music Hall where Oprah captivated us thousands assembled with a monologue of her history, illustrated on a large screen behind her as she spoke. She’s extraordinary. The firsts she’s accomplished, the hurdles she leapt, the people she’s met–totally incredible, enviable and fabulous. (BTW, before the program began it was announced that our presence in the Music Hall gave her production company the usage of our images, voices, etc. throughout the universe in perpetuity. And I feel like I’m intruding when I ask someone to sign a contract for a 6-month coaching commitment!)
My purpose in going this past weekend was mostly to observe the masters at work, which I did. These people are at the top of the field nationally and internationally. I learn so much from watching–the professionalism, stature and grace it takes to stand and speak in front of thousands, how large a village it takes to pull off an event like this, how much discomfort they are willing to put an audience through (i.e. waiting 1 hour and 15 minutes in the cold for the walk to begin) and what sponsors are willing to do if you can reach such a vast market.
I’m also very grateful to be back in my comfortable environment, familiar schedule and among the people I’ve chosen to be in my world.
